The Final Day

It is the last day of 2009. Tonight in the Sunday School building the church will have a party to welcome the new years in and to have fellowship one with another. Keeping this blog does to some extent help me review the year. What have a I done? What have I failed to do? However I have come to realise that God is very interested indeed in the sort of person I am rather than what I do. I could work 24 hours a day and say that I worked for the lord and it does not contribute one single thing to my salvation. Jesus has done it all to glorify his heavenly father and if through what he has done then I am a son of God and as a son, I should show the traits that I have from the father. I hope that when I look back over 2010, I will see that I have done that.

christmas day

Christmas day with a family from Church was nice. I am blessed to have friends. Without the church I would be alone.

This has been one of those rare occassions where I did not go to Dunfermline for christmas because my brother and his family were not at home due to the fact that Alison had a dancing job in a pantomime at Ayr. I am really pleased for her. It will give her some professional experience.

I did wonder if in staying at home, God had something for me. I do plan to do some catchin up on Church matters, however perhaps what God has in mind will happen today. I got a text from a friend asking me if she could visit me today. Her husband died this year, and Susan is one of those people whom I treasure as one of the people who welcomed me into OM. She introduced herself to me 15 years ago come January by stealing my chips and if you ever read this Susan, you know what I mean.

I need to pop out to a supermarket, get some things for the church hogmonay party and then get home to await susans arrival. She is visiting her parents.

The man on the radio

This morning I was listening to the radio. There was a man of 90 who is infirm and confined to his flat. He will spend christmas alone. He was married, but he divorced. His wife already had children and he has none. Most of his friends are dead, or not living near him, or suffer from altziemers disease. He decided not to marry again. He has no one to share a meal with, or to be part of a unit. He thought being with someone even when they are not talking had a warmth to it.

I think of myself and unless God answers my prayers, then I will suffer a similar fate to this man. that said however, at least as a believer, life always has hope.

Joseph and his dreams. the christmas story from his point of view

Have you ever considered the christmas story from the point of view of Joseph? First of all his fiancee is pregant, and not by him. So he considers putting her away without public disgrace, but God tells him in a dream to marry her and that the child she is carrying is of the holy spirit. On three other occassions he is told in a dream to leave the place he is in and go somethere else and eventually ends up in Nazareth. This fulfilled the prophecy about Jesus that he would be called a Nazarite. Joseph had no control over his circumstances. It was God working out his will through providence.

the new machine

the new machine arrived today, and the old one was carted away in a car. It is the end of an era and the beginning of a new one and the only continuity there is, is ME. If there is one thing I can say that I have brought to the team it is that.

Nothing Is Impossible with God

Once again in devotions the passage where Mary goes to her cousin Elizabeth and they are both miraculously pregnant came up. It says "For nothing is impossible with God." We also sang the song, "Give Thanks with a grateful heart". I associate this with the shelter, and my baptisme in particular as I chose this song to be sung as I came out of the water. Coming from the background that I do, baptism as I understand it was going to be impossible, but never the less it happened. I am now in a situation where I am once again looking to God to do the impossible for me.

A Large Funeral

I have been to a lot of Funerals at the Quinta Church, but I have never been to one that was as big as todays. The man who died was only 39 and he liked Deep Purple and Oasis. There was a song from Oasis.

The Crowd was so large that they could not all get into the chapel. I had to stand by the door and I was very grateful to the funeral directors for their crowd control. there was a large number of people who had to stay outside

The deceased leaved behind two children.

He suffered a brain hemorage

It goes to show that we never know when the lord will take the life he has given us and we will account for how we have used it.

I have never been to a funeral before that featured music from Lad Zeplin, and the guitarist sang a song by Oasis.

Derek was the keyboard player. He expressed his appreciation of having me there as it made things so much easier for him.

He also thought that it was good that Digby did not over promise anything, but he did not avoid the issue either.

Eliezar

In the meeting this morning, Chris refered to Eliezar. He is named in Genesis 15 and 2. I preached on providence to the team at the start of this week and chose this incident where Abraham sent his servant to get a wife for Isaac. The passage does not name the servant, but the one chris refered to does. Abraham said that God would send his angel ahead and that in this we could see that sometimes in our prayer we cannot see that God is doing something, he has sent his angel.

I myself refered to the angel on Monday, but I also said that we need to be practical where God wants us to be practical. Abraham was practical in sending the servant to find a wife for his son. The servant was clearly a very Godly man.


Has God sent his angel ahead of me?

a deeper friendship

In the early hours of Saturday morning having been out for curry after the theatres Friday night performance, a young friend asked me to walk with her to her car. I was very touched by that as it was an act of trust.

I also found through the course of the week that I got to know one of the other men quite well and there is the basis of a friendship with him in my opinion. I look forward to seeing him again.

God of the impossible

At devotions this morning, we looked at how the angel Gabriel came to Mary with the news that she would give birth to the messiah. This was impossible as she was still a virgin

She also did not know that God had already done something impossible. Her elderly cousin Elizabeth was pregnant (with John the baptist) Her husband Zecharia had been chosen by lot to make the sacrafice for the people and while in the holy place, he came face to face with Gabriel who told him that his prayers had been answered. All of these people were ordinary insignificant people.

I am an insignificant person, and I am asking God to do the impossible for me.

Next week

Next week, we have the office christmas party. I intend to wear my kilt

On Friday, my friend Jimmy arrives for the weekend. We will be going out to christmas dinner on Friday night with the theatre and on Saturday we are going looking for books.

What a week it has been so far

On Monday, James told the team that he had a motor bike accident over the weekend. Today he was suddenly unwell and was taken by ambulance to hospital.

I had a discussion with a couple of colleques on Monday about my grievances and that helped a great deal. Now we can move on.

tonight the town centre is open for shopping and there is a christmas fayre. It should be fun and as I am not due on stage until the last scene, I can go. We will then go out for the usual Friday night curry.

Good meeting, and Comfort and Joy

I thought yesterdays meeting between me, Derek and Chris was good. It resolved my personal issues.

It is a bit parky today. You can still see the frost. Last night I came dangerously close to being frozen out of the car. I need to be aware of that as the theatre are performing "Comfort and Joy" all this week and I need to be on stage for the final scene.

Identity

I thought that devotions, led by thomas this morning was interesting. He raised the subject of identity. Some people, especially on the internet have several identities. To anyone reading this, I can assure you that I am who I am. You might think I am a bore, or terribly exciting, but I do not pretend to be someone I am not.

Having said that, I do see that identity in life is fundamentaly important, and identity is expressed by being part of a community.

I sent out an email on friday to the leadership stating how I was offended on a particular matter. In my view that is really about identity

Listening

We had a prayer meeting today about the Doulos and Stl and a couple who are now out of the country that they have worked in for a long time. In the course of the meeting the subject of listening came up. I think we need to look at this subject and I have written something for the leadership team that expresses how I feel about not being listened to, but it is wider in scope as I know other people feel they were not listened to and could now speak badly of us.

My cautionary note is that as a young man when I expressed myself it was in terms that were not always acceptable to other people. I trust that I will not be OTT this time.

I am a Doulos

I am a Doulos, bond slave, called of God for the task he has for me. I am to be holy, set apart for Gods purpose as he wants only the best for me.

I am a Doulos

I am a Doulos, bond slave, called of God for the task he has for me. I am to be holy, set apart for Gods purpose as he wants only the best for me.

The daleks and Me

I went to Memorobillia with Jimmy Yesterday. It was a fun day. I got him to photograph me with the daleks. It is now on facebook. He has the biggest and Kindest heart that I know. All those years ago at University when I met him, I could not have imagined the lifelong friendship that has developed. I am looking forward to his visit next month.

Doulos and STL

It has been quite a week. We were informed that IBS STL are in serious economic trouble and are looking for a buyer. I never thought that I would see such a thing. We have done very well out of cheap books from them as has OM India and the ships.

Today we were officially informed that the Doulos cannot sail beyond the end of the year as the dry dock has shown that it would cost to much to carry out the repairs to keep her sea worthy for what would be a relatively short period. What is God doing in all this? At both STL and on the Doulos people will be uncertian about their futures. It is all the more reason to cling to him

Moses and Me

I am just hacked off by the fact that it seems to me that all my experience over the past 15 years has just been ignored by people who think they know what they are doing but are well meaning amatures. When I was in the Co-op they used to send me to management training where I learned that if you want a job improved, you need to talk to the people who actually do the job and that never happed in this case. They have come up with something that I know they will find out is just not workable.

Having said that, I now know from things we were told this morning that someone else was also ignored on a much grander scale and he is paying a heavy price, which puts my anger in perspective.

I do believe that all things work together for good to those who love the lord and I often think of Moses. He did his three 40s. He spent 40 years in pharohs court, 4o in the back side of the wilderness and 40 leading the people of isreal. It seems to me that through providence God moved him on and I ask myself, is that what is about to happen to me. Is God doing things to move me on to things that he has for me? I hope so.

Save Me Lord

last night was a bit out of the ordinary. I ran out of petrol. I had thought that I had filled the can that I keep in the boot, but I had not. I took the can home and got a torch and a pool car. I drove to the garage, but on the way, the car skidded, and mounted an embankment. While this was happening I prayed "Lord Save me, Lord Save me". The car was still moving when put on the brakes and it stalled. However, praise the lord, there was no damage. I did not hit anything. I then drove the rest of the way to the garage, got petrol, drove to my own car and put it in. I drove my own car home and then walked back for the pool car.

As I was walking back to the pool car in the dark with the torch on, I could not help but reflect that this world is like the night. It is a dark place, and like my torch, we have to be a light in it.

I should also be prepared. If I had petrol in the car, then none of these things would have happened. Likewise in life, we need to be prepared. We need to be prepared for the day we die and in all things we need to seek Gods wisdom.

Where was God in the midst of all this? He was looking after me.

Doctor Who

It was good to be at Paul and Nobbys last night for a meal and to watch Doctor Who afterwards. They are good friends.

Now as for Doctor who, I thought there was more than just a tinge of "Fury from the Deep".

The questions I ask myself today and every day

Today is one of those days where I ask myself the following questions.
Why am I here?
Should I be doing something else?
If I should be doing something else, what should it be?
Will God ever move the mountain so that I get the chance to do something else?
Do people ever see me or do they just see what I do?
Are some of the gifts God has given me going to waste?
If God gave me the chance to change my life, how much courage would it take to go ahead with it?
I pray for all of the above and look to God with expectation.

It is just as well God is more concerned with me, my character rather than what I do?

The desires of your heart

Yesterday, I was looking at a message from someone I have not seen in a very long time. He was talking about his business and he refered to the psalm that says, delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. He went on to say that he thought his business was a fulfillment of this. If you delight yourself in the lord, thent he lord will give you righteous desires which he will then fulfill.
I still have a great desires. I have great aching void that needs to be filled and I have desires for things I would like to do for the lord that I am not in a position yet to fulfill unless the lord puts me in a postion to fulfill them. My friend understanding of this scripture I agree with and it has come to me at a very timely moment. What will the lord do?

George Verwer was here

George Verwer was at Quinta today and during his address he mentioned london and how we still need a key person there. If God gives me the chance, I would love to be part of the team there as I think that would make greater use of my capabilities. I need a change. I am spiritually tired. Who knows what may happen?

Desperate Prayer

I read a long time ago that God answers desperate prayer. If that is true then I am desperate.

Police Report

I spent a short time today copying the police report that I have in preperation for Mondays leadership meeting. We are sitting ducks, we need to take security more seriously. I trust that at the end of the meeting, there are some things in the report that will be implemented.

George Verwer

Tomorrow will be a bit different to most Thursdays. George Verwer will be visiting and addressing the team. What he has to say is usualy uplifting and worth hearing, so I am rather looking forward to it.

A risk

Yesterday, gifts will have been delivered. I await to see the outcome. I also got an interesting phone call from F.

the team leader is going to back the police report I have recieved

Our f0under is going to visit us on Thursday.

Security

Yesterday, was an interesting day. I had arranged with our new local Police woman that one of her collegues ( A man in plain clothes) would come to our office and simply walk in the back door and walk around the office and note what he could have stolen if he were a thief. He came with a bag, a reminder that he could steal a lap top. If and when he were challenged, he would ask for me. He was in the building for 25 minutes before he was challenged.

I wonder if there are things in my life that could do with challenging? I certainly want to continue to grow spiritualy. There have been times when I thought that had stagnated. I was wrong, and indeed I find refreshment in the things I read. However, like all believers, there is that inner struggle, and the danger of becoming comfortable with things in my life that should be challenged and I refer to little things. Little things however can grow. You can become so used to them that living with them does not seem a problem.

taking a risk

Yesterday and tomorrow, I am taking a slight risk. I want to be a blessing to someone, and I need to take some risk in order to do that. I hope that the books and magazines I give to them will be uplifting and informative and a great encouragement to them.

Ships presentation team

Yesterday, the ships presentation team were at church. Another church who were staying at Quinta Hall visited. It was really good. It was good for the team, good for the church and I am just so pleased.

Unfortunately the batteries in my camera started to die, so Digby took some photos of me with the team on his phone. I wore my kilt for the occassion. The photos are on facebook

taking the lords name in vain

yesterday, we were discussing taking the lords name in vain. It is likely that our understanding of this is not the original, but comes from the 19th and 20th Centurys. Gods names reflect his character and perhaps this command is to us to reflect Gods character. Gods names are who he is.

Call from the Gideons

Today I got a phone call from the Gideons. They have had my testimony on file and now they are considering using it in their national magazine for an article on reaching out to schools. I am thrilled that they are even considering it. If they go ahead with this, I really hope that it is an inspiration to those who are doing the schools work now. Somewhere out there there could be present day pupils that God want to call to himself through recieving a new testament.

How long Oh lord?

I am just, so bored. I really need more that will stretch me and use my tallent. In the meantime I need to be faithfull with what has given me, and then see what happens from here.

I wonder

As usual, I woke up this morning feeling that empitness, and yet at the same time a lot of encouragement from the lord which I also experience every day. I wonder what lies ahead? Is God preparing me for something? Am I changing? If I am I hope it is for the better.

I am reminded of a story that George Philip told. He came to what is now my sending church to visit us and in particular the minister who had come from his church. He told us what the first five years of his ministry was like. It was awful and having fulfilled the first compulsory five years, every week he got into the pulpit, said the opening prayer and then looked for a vacancy committee. Having done this for some time, he reached the conclusion that God wanted him to change and so he did. Having made this decision he got into the pulpit the following sunday and he saw a vacancy committee. He took great delight in telling them he was not interested.

I however am not in his circumstances, and I am not new, I have been in OM for 15 years, but I do feel a need to be refreshed.

The weekend

Last weekend, I was at the windyhills golf club with the rest of my family celebrating Betty and Charlies Golden Wedding. It was good, but the next day I met with a friend in Glasgow, whos friend committed suicide. It was sad to see him so distressed. I need to increase the contact I hae with him and I will also be talking to one of his other freinds whom I know a bit.

a sad day

today is a sad day. someone I looked up to has publicly sinned. I feel very sad for all concerned. However, I am not complacent. It could just as easily be me. We were looking this morning at putting on the whole armour of God. How neccessary this is. I have found myself praying to God to make me pure within. I am not saying that I am totaly corrupt. I have no doubts about my salvation. However I do long to be free of the corrupt nature and its destructive power. I pray that I do not cause a sad day like today. I pray that I finish the race well.

John and John

Last night at the meeting we read 1st John chapter 5. It was wonderfull. It reasured me that God hears my prayer and will answer according to his will. It also showed me how John dealt with false teaching that had come into the church concerning sinning in the body but not the soul. Sin is sin and John reminds the church that they are saved because the trusted in Jesus and that they should live Godly lives and this is evident in that they do not sin by habit.
I found it so uplifting

I was in a supermarket this evening, and was struck by what another customer, a young man, had on the back of his shirt. It said, "Life to the Max, John 10:10" I say amen to that.

Andrew passed into Glory on Tuesday of last week. I will be at his thanksgiving service in Kings Lynn tomorrow.

Isreal

I made a discovery last night. I discovered that when God promised to give the land to Abraham, They could not sell it as the land belonged to the lord and so therefore the people were only tenents. Interesting.

Why does God bother with me?

Sometimes I wonder why God bothers with me. I am a sinful man. Just when things are ok, I go ahead and do what is wrong, feel guilty about it, say I am sorry, and the big problem is that it is just that little bit easier to do it again. I trust God does not give up on me. I am so grateful for what he has done for me, I am thankful for his restraining hand as I could be so much worse.

Praise be to God

It seems that as a society, we are being told that God is not in our lives. In fact God does not exist. We are nothing more than chemicals. God did not create the heavens and the earth, and at any moment a meteorite could hit us and wipe us out.

If there is no God then we are free to indulge in all sorts of sin and there will be no judgement and no consequences. How foolish.

The fact is that Gods word reveals he did create everything. We are answerable to him. There will be a judgment. I am so glad that I know that and that God has revealed himself to me and that he has through the death and resurrection of Jesus saved me.

A tempting weekend

At the weekend, temptation was strong. I pray for someone to help me. I am being persistent in prayer and waiting to see what the lord will do. This is where I think that a marriage partner would be usefull to say the least.

Having said that. When I woke up this morning (Feeling somewhat groggy again) and pulled back the curtains, the sunlight fell upon the promise keepers book. Seeing that reminded me that God keeps his promises.

God Carrys out promises

This morning I was reading the bible and I found that something I have read many times just hit me in a new and refreshing was. God promised Abraham that he would inherit the land. Abraham and his wife Sarah were childless and certainly in no position to have decendants and at the end of his life Abraham still did not own any land except for the plot in which he buried Sarah when she died. The church in Pauls day were able to look back and see how God had in fact carried out his promises even when visibly he did not appear to be doing so.

It is a lesson to me that God is carrying out his promises even when I do not see it or understand it

Abraham

Have you ever opened the bible and read something that you have read many times, but on this occasion it seems new again? I had an experience like that today. I opened my bible in the New testament, and the Paul is addressing believing Jews and reminding them that God called Abraham out of his home land to a land that he had never seen and God promised Abraham that he would give it to his descendants. Abraham and Sarah were childless, so they were not at that point in any position to have descendants. At the end of his life, Abraham still did not have any of the land except for the plot that he bought to bury Sarah when she died and yet the church in Pauls day, and we in our day are able to look back and see that God carried out his promises, even though at the time, visibly he would not have appeared to be doing so.

It is a lesson to me that God carries out his promises, even in ways that I may not see or expect.

A bit of Culture

The food and drink festival over the weekend was good. I met a couple of opera singers who were busking. I bought their album. I took photos of them and put them on facebook. One day these girls may hit the big time.

Persistent prayer

I woke up this morning feeling groggy. A shower soon took care of that problem. I then attended devotions led by Mike and it was about Jesus in Gethsemane It was brilliant. He showed how the Prayer was answered even though one sense it was not. For a long time now I have felt God encouraging persistent prayer and Mike once again brought up persistent prayer. I was also reminded that God heard the prayer and answered it. JESUS WAS STRENTHENED by angels. He also went on to do his fathers will

commit thy way

Just when I am discouraged, I find that I look through things that I kept in a word document and one of those things is a reminder about committing my way to the lord and he will bring it to pass. I had long forgotten that I recorded a devotional about that and kept it. It gave me a little lift for the day.

The Hanna Effect

The great emptiness as usual is still there. However, things I read in scripture remind me that the lord cares and hears prayer. What I want to know is when am I going to get an answer? With that question in mind, I am reminded of how Hannah prayed desperately for a long time before she got an answer.

Fill the Gap

Frankly the great emptiness I feel has not gone away. I may handle it better than I did in the later part of last year, but the truth is, I hate being alone.

Out at the theatre last night was ok. It was good to see dear friends on stage, but I am just so un fulfilled in my private life. I need God to do something out of the ordinary to fill the great need that I feel. once again, I was at the theatre alone. I did not go down for coffee, because I realised that every time I do that, it excentuates the problem. Having said that, I intend to go out for curry on Friday. At least plodding on is better than staying at home alone.

Gig weekend

Last nights BBQ and prayer night was good. I enjoyed meeting those at Gig. One man in particular has a demeanor that reminds me of what I was once like. Shy, bashful. However I can see that he could go to just about any field and be useful with the skill he has. I am just a mucker in. I did feel for the first time in a long time that I actually connected with some people.

Gig

This weekend we have the Getting Into Gear conference for new recruits. I will be attending the BBQ and prayer night on Sunday in the hope that I get to know some of them as I have argued that most of us do not get the chance to really engage with them. I am very sorry about this as I can think of two people who attended this conference in the past, but I did not get the chance to befriend them until much later. One of those people now works with me.

the Homosexual Issue

This evening in the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, there will be a debate about a 35 year old homosexual man who wants to be inducted into a church in the Presbetery of Aberdeen. There has been an on line petition about this and I used my membership of the church of Scotland to sign it. It seems to me that by stealth a vocal minority want to impose their views on the rest of us who hold to what Gods word has to say on the matter. More and more laws are being passed by our parliament that approve of immorality and give rights to those who seek to silence those of us who want to voice a view on the matter. To me it is a sin like any other sin. No greater, no worse. I was at meeting during the week that was led by the christian council and as I listened to the speakers, it confirmed what I think. Being a christian in this country is being undermined by the law because of pressure groups seeking to get their way

There may come a day, when we christians will find ourselves being put on trial for simply stating what Gods word has to say.

If we are serious about our faith, We need to stand up and be counted.

I watch with great interest this evening what the General Assembly will decide

Another Treat

I delayed going to see Star Trek and went last night with the Dyke family. On the way we stopped at an Indian Resturaunt and had the buffet. It was lovely. While we were there, a couple of our team came in as did a couple of Wendys patients. I loved the place and would definetely go again. It was a nice additional birthday treat

My Birthday

It is my birthday today. I intentend to keep it low key as having been to Cefn Lea for the weekend away, I thought that getting the team out for a meal this evening would be a bit much, so I am going to content myself with going to see the latest Star Trek film. However I have to say that at devotions this morning I really appreciated how Urs prayed and thanked the lord for me, for my gifts and for my life. I was deeply touched. I am also touched by getting a card from Rose and Alec

It is not good for man to be alone (again)

I was reading the Evangelical Times, when I came across an article entitled, "Marriage Optional?" It claimed that if things keep goin the way they are, then married couples will soon be out numbered by those who are not married. This of course includes co habiting. It also claimed that by 2031 the forcast means that millions of young people are heading for a life of middle aged loneliness. Not for nothing did God say in Genisis 2:28 "It is not good that man should be alone. I will make a help meet for him". Interesting that I should come across this today after Joseph jokingly mentioned it yesterday.

It is not good for man to be alone Ha ha ha

Our leader from India is here today and he gave us an update of the work in India over the past 10 years. It was moving. We should thank God for what he has done and is still doing. As a joke, he said, I have not done devotions today, so our text will be "It is not good for man to be alone".

he had a great deal of praise for the dalit ladies.

The phone call

I got a phone call from my brother today. His daughter once again wanted to talk to me about the workshop I attended. I trust that what I said to her was helpfull for the essay that she is writing about it.

Luke 18:1-8

In Luke 18 1-8 we read of the parable of the persistent widow. The Key thing is that Jesus was encouraging persistence in prayer. I have a friend, who has not been well for a while, and I determined to persist in prayer for her. I heard from her today and I am so joyfull about that.

I was reminded of the above parable when I got some Daily Bread notes in the mail yesterday that had an accompanying letter telling me about answers to prayer and this parable was mentioned. It was such and encougement to me, so to see an answer today, I am overjoyed.

I say to anyone reading this. Be persistent in prayer and see what the lord will do, he may say no, or take a new direction, or yes, but he will answer. There are however things we know we must pray for. We must pray for each other, and build one another up.

Thankyou lord for answering my prayer

The attfield theatre

My niece needs to write an essay on an activity in the arts. To that end she asked me about a shakespear workship that I attended for the Attfield Theatre. I hope that what I provided her with will help her. She is worried about it as her essay is late and she hopes that she is doing it correctly

Silver Wedding

It was good to see the family in Dunfermline for my brother and sister in law silver wedding. My brother said that he and his wife had been on a Journey individually and together. He was very emotional about it.

One of my nieces made a short speech. She said that she was so thankfull that her parents are still together as the parents of most of her friends are not.

taking a stand on homosexuality

The weekend was eventful. I went to an Evangelical Fellowship of Congregational Churches Annual General Meeting. This was good. We could see that God has blessed us with resources and we thank him for it. However, the General Secretary told us about how the Presbetery of Aberdeen intend to induct an openly homosexual man. I have since checked this out and it is to come up at the General Assembly. I am praying about this.

Peace

I was reminded at devotions that there is nothing that can happen that will surprise the lord. If I commit my plans (Dreams) to him, then it is up to him to bring them to pass. In all circumstances, I can have peace.

A Name on a Signpost

When I was Driving home yesterday from a day out with the church at Bridgnorth. I returned by a route that I had not planned. I saw a sign pointing to what I presume is a village or Hamlet. The interesting thing was that it had the same name as someone I know, and pray for. This of course sparked off a prayer. One can pray when one is driving, it is not manditory to close ones eyes. It did make me wonder though if this was God in his kindness reassuing me.

discouraged

I feel discouraged. there was a gig event that I was really looking forward to and now it is out of my hands and I feel discouraged and angry. However, there are two ways of handling this. the right way and the wrong way. I trust I find the right way.

Be strong and of good courage

This morning the speaker for devotions was not there, so someone else suddenly stepped in with a simple message. "Be Strong and of Good Courage". I was glad to hear that because I intend to go on email this weekend and open up in a discussion that in my heart I know will take courage. It was good to know that God is behind me in this.

I also have an issue at work that I think is long overdue in being addressed and it has occured this weekend and this time I have gone in with everything I have to get it addressed for the future. I am recording these two things, especially and the first one as it is personal, so that one day I will look back and see what God has done.

Am I losing it?

Am I losing my grip on Gods word? Sometimes if seems so. I pray that it does not happen. I need to fall in Love with God all over again.

There is also a big unmet gap in my life.

Logos Hope visit

I visited Logos Hope at Lieth at the weekend. It was good to see George Verwer and Peter Maiden. I also met victor and our own team on board were working very hard. I took the tour and the thing that stood out to me was the space that one day will be the hope theatre. I had myself photographed in it.

I think that it really brought home to me the potential for ministry that the ship has.

Logos Hope Has Arrived

I watched Logos Hope arrive at the Ocean Terminal at Lieth.

I am really looking forward to the weekend.

Money and gods Provision

With things the way they are, we are starting times of prayer for money every day looking ever to the lord in these times when supporters have less.

I am trying to do my bit in support raising.

I have a meeting to that effect next week

I am reminded that scripture says, "You do not have because you do not ask".

I can think of things I have asked for a long time and I still do not have, but what can I learn from that. When will the lord finaly deliver? I waited a long time and against the odds for an opportunity for baptism, and it happened. I also waited a long time to get where I am, that also happened. What next?

Global

I am sending out Lots of Global Magazines and Heartbeat prayer letters. The Logos Hope is featured on the front of global. It will surely become a collectors piece.

The ship arrives in Edinburgh on the 1st of April and is open to the public on the 2nd. I intend to be there for the first weekend.

That Sinking Feeling

I have that sinking feeling. Of becoming slightly depressed again because I am alone. It is like Peter seeing the lord upon the water and Jesus called to him and Peter walked upon the water, then looked around and began to sink.

I got an email from a friend last night. I am surprised slightly at what she said, but there is anotehr part of me that is pleased for her. She had IVF treatment and is now pregnant with twins.

fusion

My account on fusion came down yesterday. Strangely enough, I find that liberating. The lord was clearly blocking me on it, so I saw no point in going on with it. It is what I call hemming in. Hemming in to where I wonder.

Sifting Me

Devotions was interesting this morning. When Jesus was talking to Peter and said Satan has asked to sift you, but I have prayed for you, he meant that Satan had asked to sift all of them, not just Peter, but when he said to Peter, I have prayed for you, he meant Peter as an individual. Jesus is praying for us now as individuals. That means he prayes for me and my needs and what I face. That is an awsome thought. It expresses his love and concern.

PE Day

Tomorrow is PE day. (Prayer Emphasis Day) and my group are leading it. I will be presenting the subject of support raising. We all have to do it, and tomorrow afternoon we are expected to do something about it. I have prepared something for me to sent out to people I knew in the past. I plan to put it on facebook and see what happens. I have sent a letter to my church and that has produced a small positive result.

There is of course the need for prayer as well as the things that need to be done.

Eureka

I had a Eureka moment today. Strangely enough I had it in the toilet. The toilet had nothing to do do with it, I just happened to be in there and I suddenly realised something. I saw it somewhat differently and in a way that I hope is correct. It gave me a little lift

Wrestling with God

I read last night that Jacob wrestled with God and would not let go until God blessed him. I am wrestling with God in prayer. Will I prevail? I ask this question because right now I am in a state of being disappointed, it is not a lack of trust. I desperately need him to do something for me. I need his blessing. I cannot get what I need for myself. At the end of the day, I need God.

Hemming Me In

I can still see that the lord is hemming me in, and just to confirm it, it has come up in my private bible study and It has also come up at church. When it came up at church, it was in the context of guidance. Sometimes the lord hems us in so that we go in a particular direction. I can see that this is happening to me and I can also see that this path will take some time, but I am not as frustrated, or as downcast as I was. In fact I think I am rather better company than I have been for some time. God is good to me, he has picked me up. I see his love and care to me.

The Great Flood and Salvation

It is just as well that I was at home at lunchtime today. The toilet above my kitchen overflowed and the water came down through the ceiling into my kitchen at the light. I managed to stop it before there was any serious damage. Thus endeth this paragraph on the flood

Saturday night at ST Giles in Wrexham was very uplifting. The Salvation Army played modern music and the soloist was Charlie Green who came second in Britains got tallent. To see so many youngsters in school choirs really enjoying themselves was great.

I did not know that a couple of freinds and their church would be there. I was pleased to see them as I have to go to such events alone. In fact I have to do practicaly everything alone, ie go to the theatre, go to the cinema, go on holiday. One man I consulted reminded me that when you are alone, holidays are not a lot of fun. How true.

macbeth

Last night the theatre had a read through of Macbeth. It seemed strange to me to be sitting in an English town and reading words that were all too familiar to me, but probably not to anyone else. as a man from The Kingdom Of Fife, every time I read the word Fife in th script, it reminded me of my home town of Dunfermline the old Capital of Scotland.

It is a big cast, and there are children in it. If this were a film it would be called a Blockbuster.

How did you know?

Yesterday was Sunday and it was one of those days where I could ask the minister the question, "How did you know"? He didn't of course, but God does. We were studying Acts and the Man From Macedonia. This led to a consideration of how God guides. It seems that God has a revealed will in his word. He also has a secret will. We are to follow his revealed will.

The minister then pointed out that we should pray for wisdom to make wise decisions. Wisdom is something I have thought about a great deal lately. He also said that sometimes God hems you in so that you stop going in one direction or another and you are left with one way to go. This is exactly what I feel God is doing to me. I discovered when I first sensed this some weeks ago that the psalmist was also able to say of the lord, "You hem me in".

It is in trust that I accept that Gods will is worked out in providence and that his will is the best for me.

A note in my bible on quick answers to prayer

There is a note in my bible on Psalm 70 about speedy answers to prayer. I see nothing wrong in asking for a speedy answer, but it is up the lord whether he grants speed or not. The note is as follows

" Think about it. Our world worships speed. Whether it's cars, computers, or dialing the phone, faster is better. But God's perfect timing can't be measured in mph, MHz, or split seconds. He's just not on our time system. When you are pressured and can't get answers fast enough, remember God is not playing a cruel joke on you. He's getting you ready for the best answer."

I may have an answer to prayer. It is not the one that I expected, but it is a good one.

On the same subject I have recently witnessed a speedy answer to prayer. We were praying for our team and one of our members was praying for our IT department and asked for another member to come SOON. It actually happened. Can you believe it? I am so pleased.

macbeth

We get down to working on Macbeth next week. That will be a challenge, but I am really looking forward to it. I find that the theatre brings out the creativity in me.

The final and the party afterwards last Saturday was really good. I do not think I have enjoyed a social event so much for some months.

Opportunities

A certain young man I know has broken his leg. He is in hospital. I decided to send him a card and a tract and later on I sent him a christian booklet. I just saw his unfortunate situation as an opportunity and I prayed for him. I also pray for others.

Shopping

I was in a shop yesterday. I saw that one of the girls on the staff was wearing a belt that said "JESUS"on it. I asked her if it was just a fashion item, or did it mean something. She said that it meant something, to which I asked her, "To You?" she said "Yes, today I am not wearing my cross." It turned out that she is member of an anglican church in a village near here. I went back there tonight and put throught he shop letter box a copy of the 50th anniversary global for her as it was clear that she had never heard of OM. Tomorrow night I am going to give her copies of Go4it.

Prayer, answers and encouragement

It is Sunday, and once again in the morning I heard about bringing one person to christ and then both of us bring one person to christ and so on. As I heard this I was praying for the usual person to come to christ. In fact last night I did a lot of crying out for her. In the evening we talked about prayer meetings and this led to talking about how the church prayed for Peter to be release from prison, which he was in a miraculous way and suddenly he was at the door. The church were shocked and surprised at this answer to prayer. I want my prayers answered. We then went on to agree about praying for and talking to our neighbours. This began tonight. I am thrilled at this. I need the encouragement.

Am I not still enough?

Having heard devotions this morning on BE STILL, I now find the same thing in the daily bread notes that I received yesterday.

Be still once more

Devotions this morning focused on one thing yet again. Be still and know that I am God. We then had a time of thinking about this followed by singing.

Knock knock

Scriture says, "Knock and the Door shall be opened". It does not say May be opened, or sometimes opened. It says SHALL be opened. This occured to me this morning as I was praying in the kitchen of all places. I want a door opened.

Two doors firmly shut

Two ladies on fusion that I contacted have been very polite, but decided not to remain in contact with me. They have their reasons which are very good ones, but they way I see it is that this is Gods providence. I makes me keep moving in a certain direction without being distracted. However I do pray that I reach my objective soon as I had a body blow on Saturday that really rocked me. I should expect opposition, and I now fight on, but God please bring things to fruition quickly.

Giving up again

Today at devotions we read the story of the disabled man who was let down on his mat through the roof by his friends. They would have found the journey difficult and when they saw a large crowd, they were flexible, they did not give up. Indeed they went to a place they would not normaly have gone and did things that they would not normaly do, ie open the roof. This probably applies to me.

Giving up again

Today at devotions we read the story of the disabled man who was let down on his mat through the roof by his friends. They would have found the journey difficult and when they saw a large crowd, they were flexible, they did not give up. Indeed they went to a place they would not normaly have gone and did things that they would not normaly do, ie open the roof. This probably applies to me.

Giving up and what do you want?

For the past couple of days, I have felt like giving up. However, as there was nothing of great interest to me on television in the evening, for the past two nights, I have watched the dvds I have from the 2006 International Forum that feature Steve Brady. Studies in Nehemiah are very encouraging. The king asked Nehemiah, "What Do You Want?". Brady asks the question, what if the ultimate person, (God) askes "What do you want?" what would be your answer? He leaves it there, but I can answer for myself. I want my friend saved and then I want more.

Brady also comments on the difficulties in the last part of re building the walls. There was much opposition to this, but as an illustration, the tells the story of a young inexperienced coal miner who was given the task of splitting a rock. He hammered and hammered away at it with no results, until one of the more experienced miners said, "Give me that", he took the pick and split it in a couple of blows. The more experienced miner had been listening to the sound of the blows and as it changed, he knew it was about to split.

He also gives examples of people who said they had a word from the lord for him and they did not, on the other hand he also sighted a case where a man said to him, "Dont Do it". This was a word from the Lord as he was considering giving up christian ministry. In view of the things I have heard and seen recently, it seems to me God is saying, do not give up, keep on going, you are very close.

These things are such an encouragement to me. Am I close to victory? I hope so.

Pivitol Points

This morning devotions was very interesting. Having woke up early this morning and done some bible reading, I read about the lord making our path smooth. The meaning of this acording to the notes is that the lord would correct our direction. I feel I made a mistake when I did not respond to a certain person as I had a fixed idea about going out only with saved people. I now regret this as I witness.

Devotions was about pivitol points. Times in our lives where we made decisions and we look back now and ask the question. What If (I had made a different decision) I now want to see if God will take me to a point where I will have to chance to correct my earlier mistake.

George

Impossible coming Soon

Yesterday, I was in bed listening to the radia, when I heard three Key words. Miracle, Impossible, Soon. I was on the point of giving up until I heard these words. I had emailed someone on Fusion and asked her if I was a chauvinist. I got a polite, but slightly cheeky answer that meant yes, but the fact is that God has stated in his word in no uncertain terms that women in the church should not teach or have authority over men and it is NOT cultural. I knew that God was saying no to me having more contact with this lady and to stay on the path I am on. To keep praying for the individual that I pray for very fervently every day. I do this with pleading, but joyfully.

Roger Carswell

Yesterday, Roger Carswell came into the office. He was a guest at Quinta Hall. I saw an opportunity to get a good book for the woman that I pray for. I left a note at Quinta hall asking him to see me and I explained the situation. Today he saw me and after a short talk he recommended a book he wrote called, "Things God Wants Us to Know". He gave one to me and I will send it with a copy of LUKEs gospel. I pray she reads them.

It was also good to see Roger and I will be passing on his greetings to Digby and Marianne.

I do wonder however, when Roger came into the office yesterday, I did not see him. I heard him outside my door talking to our receptionist. He had brougth some mail over. I pushed my chair back and looked at this man standing in the doorway. He seemed familiar. I thought that he looked like Roger Carswell. When he had gone and I looked at the mail that he had left, I saw the return sticker with his name and address on it. If I had not heard our receptionist talking to him, I would not have looked to see who it was, and if I had not then checked that he was who I thought he was I would not have thought of asking him for a his advice on a book for someone who knows nothing. Could this be the final push that God will use to give her the gift of faith?

Impossible?

Today was PE day and Chris P said that Andy C had been at a certain meeting where George V was. Chris had fond memories of that church because as a young man of 19 in 1964 he heard a message there that changed his life. God spoke to him about the IMPOSSIBLE. This word appears in my prayers for a certain person. I do say to the lord, it is impossible for me, so it is up to you. I felt so reassured by it.

I look to see God do the impossible in my friends life and in mine.

Is it God or the way my mind works?

SOON, that word looms in my way of thinking. Is it me or is it in Gods providence that word has just been put on the board outside my office? I hope it is the lord as in previous postings I have said that I pray for someone to be saved. I also pray for other things for the same person. I pray that the person in question is delivered into my hand and I hope that will happen soon. How soon is soon. Left to my own devices, it would be today.

I am reminded that Gods promises do not fail. There is also a scripture that says that Gods promise would not be delayed by one day. I think the point is that while things may seem to tarry to us, God is not delaying.

Ohhh I am deperate for God to answer my prayers

Christmas

Christmas was ok. It was good to see the family. However, we were all ill afterwards and this thwarted the plans my brother and his wife had for new year. I do pray all the more for them and their children.

What will God do?

I ask myself the question, what will God do? I need him to do some deep personal things for me and I look forward to that in great anticipation, but when I woke up this morning, I found that the emptiness was very prominent again. Even that is a good thing as it makes me realise my need and turn to God all the more, but Ohh to have it fulfilled.

Christmas was ok, but the emptiness was there all the time. When I was out walking I found myself praying and started to look upon chalmers street as my street of prayer.

I sent the tract that I got in the church to the person I pray for with some other things from the brand new Body shop and a heating product that I got from a promotions girl. For me the most important thing was the tract. It explains the gospel in graphic detail

I also see in things I read the image of standing by the river Jordan waiting for God to act. That is how I see myself at this moment in time. I wonder what I will think when I look back over 2009? What will I see that God has done?