Christmas party

We had the christmas dinner last night. It was good, but I feel that it is all to short. There is never time to hang around and just sit at table after the dinner and just talk.

Now here is a secret. Keep it to yourself, but I am santa and I expect people thought last nights performance was fun, but to me it was a sham. There are ways of doing these things that keep it right and makes it go with a bang and because of last minute instructions, it just did not have the edge that I would like to have given it.

A few of the team were at Elaine Donnachies funeral in Glasgow. They came to the party when they got back just before it wrapped up.

George

Christmas past and present

Tonight is the team christmas dinner. That should be fun. About 10 minutes before writing this blog, I spotted some photo albums on a desk and I flicked through them. It was a good reminder of past members of the team and children who are now in their teens, or even adults. Three members of the team are now in Glory.

Some of the photos were taken at christmas. It gives a perspective on what I am about to do tonight.

Last sunday my car sprung a petrol leak. I hope that does not scupper my christmas plans.

I also still need to put some calendars out round the village in behalf of the church.

George

taking the plunge

When I wrote yesterdays blog, I had in mind that passage where Jesus says to Peter, Simon Peter, so you love me? This would have reminded Peter of how he had been so sure of himself, and he was wrong. He let the lord down and he was very sorry. Yet Jesus had a great ministry for him. think M was so sure and yet she was so wrong.

For me, I think I need to say one more thing to her along those lines and then leave her to the lord. F and I have written emailed and phoned a lot recently, and I have started to feel closer to her than I did when I met her all those years ago. I see that she has grown in grace and love of others and I like that about her.

George

huge mistakes

I have looked at a couple of Ms emails. Sad. A few years ago, she was optimistic and confident, now her world has been ripped apart because she trusted someone who was not worthy of that trust. She did not want to see the gaping flaws in the man. I tried to warn her and now she has paid a very heavy penalty.

Even in our mature years, we can make some big mistakes. God expects us to use our minds and pay attention to things. I look back on a prayer evening in my sending church and at the end of the evening, a mature lady stood up and very excitedly told us that she was getting married. I had no knowledge of the man and it seemed to take everyone else by surprise. Her happiness was short lived and the marriage never took place. She had made assumtions about where they would live and he had a very different idea about that and I expect that there were other issues that I do not know about to this very day.

the minister told me later that he learned from that incident. I do not know what he learned, but looking back on it and also taking into consideration that I am getting older, I feel that I have learned from it now and that is, you should not assume that anyone is content in their present condition. ( I am not) and you should also know that even in mature years, our desires can drive us to doing what is not wise. If M had listened to me when I reminded her of the passage that says, "By their fruits shall ye know them" then perhaps, just perhaps she would not have gone on with things and ended up in the mess that she did. I myself however also need to take heed.

You will not believe this

It is Monday. Perhaps this is just a Monday thing, but I need to get mailsort marks on to large window envelopes. We were concerned that the heat from the copier would melt the plastic window on to the roller so we phoned technical support.

After a lot of talking back and forth the answer was that it would damage the machine, but we should remove the plastic from all 4252 envelopes, print the mark and then stick the plastic back in. So much for technical advice. R could not help laughing about this. The guy was being serious. He had no clue about how impractical that would be. The next time you require technical support, just remember, not everyone has a practical appoach to things.

Remembrance Sunday

Yesterday was remembrance Sunday and as usual the three churches and the girls School met at the war memorial to lay wreaths and say a few words. For the first time, I found myself saying a few words. People had not come with their glasses so I was asked to read, "They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old"etc etc.

I find that these events mean more to me than the same thing in Dunfermline. It is for me a fixed point in the year and I am reminded that another year has passed.

It also makes me look back on my own family and I have things to be thankful for. All of the members of my family survived the first and second world wars, or else I would not have been born. Thousands of lives were lost in these conflicts.

Friends

I wrote a letter today, to a man who is a believer whom I have known since my school days in an attempt to re kindle the relationship. I really would love to achieve that. We went our seperate ways in our 20s and the friendship faded away. I regret that. I hope to mend that.

Watch and pray

Perhaps I have seen an answer to Prayer. F has talked to her pastor and he wants to see me. This proves to me that she at least takes what i say seriously as she has not rejected it out of hand as I think she would have in the past.

I think she has been told to be patient. I think that is wise advice and it suits me very well. It is one of those situations where we watch and pray and see how things in Gods providence will unfold.

Stick with it

I told someone that I would stick with her. The Question is, will I? what sort of a person am I? I happened to be watching a film this afternoon. It was BEAN, and at the end of the film Mr Bean is making a speach about Whistlers mother in which he says that whistler painted his mother and he would stick with her. When I heard this, it reminded me of what I had said. I wonder if God in providence is reminding me of this and telling me to do what I said.

In the coming week, let me see.

Speedy answers to prayer.

I am asking for a speedy answer to prayer and I am open to any possibilities. I wrote to F and I await her reply. Perhaps she is the answer and I am to hers, or the lord may yet surprise me, but any answer at all would be lovely

God hears and answers prayer

As I look around me, and as I take into account things I heard as i entered a meeting this morning, and also as I was praying for M and F this morning and praying that I make wise decisions. I think that I am on the brink of seeing an answer. I do not know what it will be, but I do feel like the children of isreal standing by the shore with the Egyptian army in pursuit going forward at Gods command and awaiting God to do something.

Trust and risk

I asked M if I am trusted. It seems to me that is the word that is prominent to me at the present. I am so accustomed to being trusted that it is difficult for me to have to go beyond being myself to earn that trust when I know that I would not do anyone a bad turn. I really do love the lord. I might have my failures, but I do love the lord and his people. I try to be faithfull.

I filled in at reception yesterday and perhaps this is just my mind, or perhaps this is his providence, but I noticed for the first time that the word TRUST is on the computer speakers.

I now feel that I have a choice in what could be a life changing matter and trust is going to be one of the factors. Risk will be another. I could go on as I am, but look back with regret. I once told someone who first raised the subject of risk with me that I am afraid of taking the risk, but I am far more afraid of not taking it.

I am therefore praying that the lord will give me wisdom in the choices I intend to make over the next couple of weeks to a month

providence

It may be that in providence some years ago, through a christian site I started writing to a woman. I mis read where she lives and I am glad I did, or a I would not have continued with the correspondence. I grew very very impressed with her character and her experience of life. Now I find that terrible things have happened to her and in my heart, I want to support her if she will let me, so I have sent some emails, but I have also prepared a text message and I am hoping that I will see Gods hand in that.

hands up

Well, I got a Kick up the backside yesterday, and I needed it. I got an email from someone in desperate need. I see the hand of God in how she got the particular email address that she used to contact me because I had not given it to her in the conventional sense ( though I knew she had it) and what she had to say cut me to the core and I need to be like Moses with his hands held up praying over the battle. I do see this as a spiritual battle and I need to be about the business of prayer for her and other matters as indeed I am, but I need to be all the more vervent in it.

A Kick up the backside

During prayer last night, someone mentioned a kick up the backside to get on with it. For me those words were the kick that I needed.

I need to set some things in motion so I will make a start very soon

God is good

God is good, I prayed that I would find my driving license, my passport, and a king james Bible and I found all of them last night. I also found my Santa Costume. You did not know I was santa did you?

The booklet

When I see the things that are going on in my extended family, it seems to me that there is far more reason for me to write the booklet that was suggested to me. I therefore have to get down to it in the next month or two. I also have something else I would like to achieve. I would like to get some formal training in theology

Last weekend

I went to a theatre BBQ at the weekend and I camped overnight. It was fun. the family who camped got drunk, but they did not do anything awful and a I love them anyway. I did feel that I got to know some people in the company better. One of them told an interesting story of how her step father came into her life. I found it very touching.

It seems my yahoo account has been hacked so i need to do something about it.

Leadership

Those of us who desire leadership, desire a good thing. I was reminded of this by j this morning at a the prayer meeting. I felt the lord was telling me to fight my corner, so I will prepare for it and I will be doing it. I want to teach and I want the training, so I am asking for it.

Better than some churches

I started the teaching on the trinity today and one of the ladies said in front of everyone that what I do is better than some churches. I am deeply touched by that.

Jews in the town

today I was on the bank run and having lunch, when I saw some Jewish boys in scull caps and the older boys wearing the floppy hats. I spoke to them and found that they are at camp at a local school. They are of course orthodox. I seem to have moved into a jewish phase again. Is the lord saying something to me?

Keswick and prayer

Today we were told about a woman who I heard on the Radio last Sunday. She is an elderly missionary doctor. She told the story about a baby who needed to be kept warm and therefore needed a hot water bottle. A 12 year old girl prayed that God would send a hot water bottle and then said, "By the way, send a dolly for the baby to." The missionary doctor had not recieved anything from Britian in 5 years, yet she did recieve a package and among the contents was a hot water bottle. When the 12 year old girl saw the bottle she put her hand in the package and said, "If God sent the hot water bottle, he must have sent a dolly to". As she said this, she pulled out of the package, a small doll."

What an encouragement it must have been to that doctor and to the girl. It certainly was to me that God listens to my prayers and answers them. I may not have all my answers now, but it it coming.

Problems

One never knows what a day will hold. I got up this morning full of the joys, only to be told about a big issue to do with an air com. I know the person concened will do his utmost to get things sorted, so I do not have any concern about that, and for a about a week, I felt a bit put out because my car will not start. I find that one thng will not get me down, two might start and if I have a range of little things then I really start to feel it. It just shows how one can be cast down in an instant. It is just as well that Jesus Christ is reliable. He never breaks down and only wants the best for us.

Car not starting

the car will not start. It makes a clicking noise. think it has an electrical fault. I need to either upgrade Greenflag or AA to get a relay service.

Daily Bread

I occassionaly use Daily bread. One of the entries is on patience. Psalm 130:5 " I waited for the lord, my soul waits, and in his word, I do hope. It then goes on to say that Jacob waited for Racheal, moses waited for 40 years for the call to lead Isreal and the isreal waited 40 years in the wilderness. Could my waiting be nearing an end? I think I have learned a lot in my lifetime of waiting.

Decisions decisions.

I wonder what will happen to me this week. I intend to start a discussion about a distance learning course. I still need to thrash out some details.
I had bit of a tif with F about her insensitivity. She did not like it, but I decided not to reply straight away, I wanted to think and now that I have replied, I think the delay was wise. I also still have to deal with M.

All in all I have decions to make and I need the lords wisdom. I do not think there are any bad choices there are good and the best and I need to work out which is which. As it happens this dilemma comes up in the Screwtape letters, a book I am currently re reading. I plan to read "Mere christianity" again next.

Gratitude is most welcome

I gave F a little bit of financial help that I can ill afford, but I did it and as usual her lack of gratitude is annoying and hurtful. She really seems to have no idea how other people feel.

I also found this morning that I had two copies of "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis. I want to read it again, so I kept the battered copy for myself and sent the nice looking one to M. I pray she benefits from it. I know I will when I read it again.

George

All things work together for good.

Phil wright was here today and he said that there are passages of the bible we know that we quote, but not always sensitively. How true.

However he then went on to say that all things work together for good to those who love the lord whatever situation we are in. We have a different view to the world. Our situation may be dire and we can look back on other situations that the lord brought us through and know that he will do something again. There is a reason for our financial situation, loneliness, pain etc even if we do not know it now. I have been looking back on three recent situations where I had a need and all of them were met.

17 years ago

I am in the middle of listenening to some tapes by Duncan Campbell and in his testimony there is a point where he had left the Faith Mission 17 years prior and he felt that God was saying that he should go back. He was somewhat reluctant. In another tape he talked about elijah and repairing the alter. I want to teach, I want to lead in righteousness, I want to be holy and it is almost 17 years since I gave up any hope of being a minister in the Church of Scotland. I would not apply for the ministry now, but I am at a point where I am considering study and perhaps the lord is saying "Get the matter settled and get on with it."

Tradition

Tradition is a good thing, if it is helpful, but we should not let tradition get in the way of biblical truth as the pharasees did. We had a discussion about tradition last night and I think that when we look at the church at large, a lot of what people believe is from years of tradition, a lot of which has been good, but sometimes things change.

I was really challenged when the subject of how some people cannot be themselves in church was mentioned and I believe that we will return to the subject in a few weeks. I posed the question, suppose someone came to our church and said, "I am a worship leader, that is who I am" what would our response be?

George

Nehemiah

Nehemiah, heard the report about the broken walls of Jerusalem and was saddened. He prayed and remembered the promise the lord made to moses and he asked for success. when he was in the presence of the king, the king asked him why he was sad and Nehemiah was afraid ( having asked for success) never the less, his request was granted. How often am I afraid even if I have asked for the thing coming my way? It shows the humanity of Nehemiah and grace of the lord.

George

The screwtape letters

Tonight I stewarded for Kinoculture and to give myself something to do, I took a copy of CS Lewises Screwtape letters with me. The first few chapters talked about prayer and fear and praying to the true God and not to idols and not relying on feelings for the outcome of prayer. There are the very things that I was thinking about. Of all the books I have ( and I have a lot) to take as I walked out the door, God in his providence saw to it that i took that one.

Book of Micah

I have done the public reading of the book of Micah and I am buzzing. I thought it was a great experience. I am really looking forward to reading psalms in the streets tomorrow come rain hail or shine.

Micah is a great book. It is full of Gods judgement, but it is also full of his mercy. We see in it the prophecy of Gods provision for the remission of sin, Jesus Christ not in my view just his first coming, but also his second. We see that he will end war and reign forever.

We see that he will come from an insignificant place and we have a better understanding of it than the people would have had at the time for we now look back to Jesus time on earth as a man, this prophecy was a forth telling of it.

I found reading it out loud even to just a few people was a wonderful experience and I hope that I never forget it

Leaders

As I Read the Purpose filled life, I am challenged by the question, "Am I influencing people for jesus christ?" The book recommends keeping a journal to see how I grow, but I think this blog will serve that purpose as it was the true intention I had when I started it.

CP Spoke to us this morning about leaders and reminded us that people look at us to see Jesus in our lives and in that respect, we are all leaders. I have spent a few years now thinking about that and I definetely want to influence.

keep praying

this morning I woke up, picked up the bible and it fell open at thessalonians I think and there were the words, "KEEP PRAYING". It seemed such and encouragement to go in praying for M as I have done

I also found another passage where three ladies including Joanna who was wife to Herods household manager are mentioned and they supported Jesus. By implication it means that christ who was all powerfull chose to do support raising. That is also an ecouragement to me.

Psalms and answered prayer

I will be reading three chunks of Psalms on Saturday in the streets. They are chosen by a man I have never met, and yet all of them have either answer to prayer or God will answer prayer. What an encouragement.

Persistent Prayer

Yesterday, I walked into church and picked up a magazine from the table. I opened it at random and the article was about Persistent prayer. This was a great encouragement to me as I pray for M persistently. It was also a challenge to me in the wider sense of persistent prayer.

Right now

As I was praying last night for M, I prayed that my prayer might be being answered as I was praying. Today I came across that passage about the official who came to Jesus whose son was close to death and Jesus to told him to go and his son was healed at that moment. Interesting, of all the passages to come across today, it was that one, so later on, I will find out.

A clean bill of health

I was at the doctor today to see the practice nurse. My blood pressure is good and I really am losing weight. It is not an illusion. Good.

A chat with R

I was talking to R today. I had seen something she had written on how she and her husband came here. It took them a whole year during which they felt they should give up their jobs. Her husband had just about worked himself out of his job and that strikes a note with me. It is a matter I am praying about. Changing. Moving into something that I think suits my tallents. Lets see if I am right

Patience

I have a feeling judging by the passages that I see in scripture and by a leaflet I saw in our coffee bar that when I get round to reading what I know I have to from M, I am going to have to be patient and look all the more to Gods leading. Let us see if at the end of this week, I am right. In the meantime I have things to get on with. I need to tidy up the flat. Dump some rubbish. look at some exam scripts and learn how to set my new freeview box and then having done a lot of bible reading have a look at what M has to say.

ss

Electrical work in the Sunday School is now complete. This is a major step forward and we are deeply grateful.

David and Goliath again

I was watching a Teen Street video in the prayer meeting this morning and this one was about an Italian Boy and his sister and the subject of David and Goliath came up again much to my surprise and the words were repeated, "THE LORD IS WITH YOU". I really want to see a victory with reguard to M. Is God saying that he is with me. It seems so. I pray that he will give me much wisdom for the days ahead.

Goliath

I am not a great one for allegorical preaching, but perhaps something happened today along those lines. In order to get what I want and what I am praying for, I need an obstacle removed. I have done my part in having it removed, but there are things that I cannot do, only the lord can do and the image I have had of this for some time now is that of David slaying Goliath.

Today, I was in facebook, and I saw that a friend had a photo of himself on holiday and it caught my eye. I decided to have a closer look at it and then decided to look at some of his other pictures and then I saw it. A picture of David standing over Goliath with the sword in his hand and a caption that said, "GIANTS ARE MEANT TO BE SLAIN. THE LORD IS WITH YOU MIGHTY WARRIER". I really hope that is for me. I am praying daily and I really want the obstactle removed so that I can get on with greater things.

I also decided to start making enquiries into a week long preaching course that was mentioned at our team weekend away.

George

20th of May

On this day 55 years ago, a momentous event took place. I was born. I am 55 years old. I have to look in the mirror to remind myself about that.

I went out with the theatre for curry and they had got me a birthday cake. I was surprised and I was deeply touched. I love them, they are a good bunch.

Oh Boy

oh boy oh boy oh boy. I am just so tired. It really hit me at lunchtime and I have to do props a the theatre tonight and every night. I just hope that I am more perky by then.


I later discovered that I was very ill and had to take a couple of nights off the theatre.

Three words

What can we do to know Gods will? The answer is three words. READ THE BIBLE.

telling the truth.

I was reading a chapter in the Purposefull Life this morning and it was about community and how telling the truth in a right way is the one of the most loving things we can do. I told M the truth and I pray that she responds well to it. I pray that it makes her wise and she can see the trap and avoid it. I really believe the Devil is trying to sift her. He is a destroyer and he pulled this stunt with me some years ago with couple of women I fell for who did not love me. I was daft enought to persist. she is older than I was then, and has responsibilities. It would be even worse. I pray that what I have said will foil the devils plan.

I am discovering that God uses every aspect of my life to benefit me and others. things I could not hhave imagined at the time would be useful in fact are.

Two weeks

I have given M two weeks to answer my question about meeting. I see that when Gareth asked Malou to come to the UK she took two weeks to answer. In that time in my view God was giving her time to consider. I trust that through me the lord has given M time to consider her situation. I pray that she is wise.

Where am I rooted?

Am I so rooted where I am that I would not go somewhere else? At the weekend away we looked at the book of Hebrews and this question was a challenge. This world is not our home, we have a home with the lord. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, moses Gideon were all men of faith who did not recieve what was promised, but they saw it from afar. On an application to me, I do have a desire to move on but there are things I love here. I want to have M. I am praying for her, really wrestling for her as I do not want to her to suffer as I have.

I thought the weekend away for me was fabulous. I went really prepared to listen and I think it has paid off.

Two Opportunities

This morning, two drivers asked me what this place ( the office) does. One of them is a member of Jehovahs Witnesses. I briefly told them what we do and gave them some of our literature. Pray for them. Who knows what may happen. I told the second driver about the dalit project and he told me that his wife is Indian.

Spiritual attack

At todays team meeting, G said that this team is under a Sustained attack from the Devil. I agree with him. There are so many people who are ill, or closely related to those who are ill, or are having spiritual problems.

Only at the start of this week, I warned M that she is under a spiritual attack and I am sure that I am right about that.

I myself am related to someone who is going through the wars. My brother had stent put in to a valve in his heart and he has to have a second one. His wife by background is a nurse and it must be so difficult for her.

Wrestling like Jacob

Yesterday I sent an email giving M the benefit of my experience of being drawn to women who did not love me and also a woman who was drawn to me whom I did not love. I pray that she benefits from this and that God directs her and gives her wisdom and courage.

I find now that I am directed to that passage where Jacob sends all his family and posessions over the river and he is alone, yet wresting with a man who is clearly a manifestation of the lord and Jacob keeps on and on wrestling with him and tells him he will not let him go until he blesses him. The Lord blessed him and called him Isreal. I am now wrestling and trusting the lord to bless with an answer.

Acts Chapter 12

I was at a Rally today and at the end of it, the speaker preached on acts Chapter 12. james had been executed. Herod saw that it pleased the Jews, so he planned the same thing for Peter. The church prayed for Peter and he was miraculously rescued. When he went to the house where the church were meeting they were astonished to see him. They must have prayed things like "Make peter a good witness to the jailors or give Peter courage for the execution. Instead, God gave them what they must have really wanted."

We need to be specific in prayer and ask for things accoding to his will and be precise about what we want and not just be general. We will then see answers and glorify God for it.

I am praying specificaly for something.

The destroyer and victory

I woke up this morning thinking and praying about M and how the devil is destroyer and how when I was going through the same difficulties, Gordon J said, " I see the devil in it." He was right and now I am saying it to her

Gareth and Malou Bolton are here today and he reminded us that the devil seeks to destroy. He seeks to deprive us of our spiritual food. Again, it was the subject of the destoyer.

However just like I found a passage a few days ago that told me the enemy is already defeated, so he reminded us of how Gideon listened to the dream of the Mideon soldier. He saw a mideon tent and a large loaf of bread hit it and knocked it down. It was confirmation to the Gideon of victory and I am praying for a victory. I believe it is in my grasp.

Get on with it

Yesterday, while reading Cs manuscript. there came a point int he narrative where the subject wanted a wife and was interested in a certain woman. He had been alone for a long time and the comment was that when you have been a long time alone you put things off. The subject was told that there were othe men interested in her and he realised that he had to do something now. Perhaps that is where I am.

Go for it they are already defeated

Today I am going to go for it. This morning I rediscovedered that there was not just one occassion when moses sent out spies and and on one occassion Moses was assured by the lord that the enemy was already conquered. Obviously the people still had to go in and do the job, but God was saying that was a formality, the enemy was in effect already conquered and I pray that for me a certain person who is an obstactle is out of the way or at least held at bay and is in effect already defeated.

Working like Jacob

Jacob worked for years to earn the wife he loved. I was advised to get fit, do Jogging( which I am not doing, I am doing walking instead) to earn a wife. I think doing it just to be fit is wise, but I was told to do certain things to get a wife just like Jacob got racheal. this morning I was reading a chapter in a book and that very same thing was mentioned. It felt like God saying the advice you have been given and have taken is good. Keep doing it.

Bin laden is dead

Binladen is dead. I heard it on the radio this morning and I watched it on TV. It is the biggest thing in the news today. A lot of questions will be asked because he was well inside Pakistan in a large house in a town that serves the military. It is like a fox living in a chicke cop. A lot of people think that this is justice, but I think that our Justice is nothing compared to the justice that the lord hands out. His justice will be seen to be just.

fasting and prayer

I am having day of fasting an prayer. Just like Ruth waiting for Boaz to settle the business, so I am looking to the lord to answer my prayer. Before I left the house this morning, I read parts of Habakkuk. I then went out with bible by the canal and read all of it. The bit that stood out to me was Habakkuk 2:1 "I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint." Habakkuk was waiting for an answer to prayer. He was deliberately looking for it

I also read 1st Kings Chapters 17 to 18. The verses that stood out to me were 1st Kings 18:41-46"And Elijah said to Ahab"Go eat and drink for there is the sound of a heavy rain". So Ahab went off to eat and drink, but Elijah climbed to the top of mount carmel, bent down to the ground and put his face between his knees. "Go and look toward the sea" he told his sevant. And he went up and looked. "There is nothing there he said."Seven times Elijah said, "Go Back" The seventh time the servant reported, " A cloud as small as a mans hand is rising from the sea". So Elijah said, "Go tell Ahab, Hichup your chariot and go down before the rain stops you". Meanwhile the sky grew black with clouds and the wind rose, a heavy rain came on and Ahab rode off to Jezreel. The power of the lord came upon Elijah and tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel."

Once again we see a man of God praying and looking for the answer, not just hoping for one, expecting one and likewise I need to expect one. I look to see what the lord will give me. Will it be M or F?

Ruth 3:18

I do feel the lord is settling what I want from him. I had Ruth 3:18 in mind for some time and today on facebook someone invited me to an event ( all be it a ladies event) that had this very verse in the banner. I have also emailed C about M today and discussed the situation with him and I trust that he is praying with me.

"Then Naomi said, "Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today".

chris

Today is Chris Rs Last day in the office. I have known her for 16 years. It will seem strange without her.

stents

Jim had a stent put in and has to have a second double one put in in a few weeks time. Not a situation that any of us would have chosen, but I suppose better this than a much worse situation later on. In this we should see the hand of the lord and be thankful.

Two ladies

I phoned F yesterday. She seems more focused than she was many years ago, but I am not convinced that we really understand one another. However, she has proved to be faithful over the years.

I would love to meet M if she was willing. Someone else who is probably more focused than she realises and has a lot of very admirable qualities

Elizabeth Sladen

I was sad to hear of the death of Elizabeth Sladen yesterday. I met her once about five years ago in Birmingham at the NEC. I got her autograph on a CD that was part of promoting her daughters career.

I think when she returned to Doctor Who, she approached it with gusto. I loved her perfomances. Much as I loved her in her original run, I thought that she brought more to the performance when she returned. In some respects I think the acting industry under estimated her.

Gordon Preaching

We listened to a recording of Gordon preaching in 1993 from the book of kings. It was Ist Kings 18 where the king and Obediah went there seperate ways for find food for the donkeys when he ran into Elijah. Gordon emphasised prayer and praying knowing we would recieve and answer. I thought it apt for me.

Saul and David

It is amazing what you can see in statistics. In 1^st Samuel chapter 18 verses 25 – 27 David wants to marry Sauls daughter. Saul thinks that he can get the philistines to kill him so he demands 100 of Their foreskins. He clearly thought that was impossible and David would be killed in the process. However, God was with david and not only did he get 100 foreskins. He doubled it and got 200. 100 would have been enough to get Sauls daughter, but I think God was emphasising the fact that he was with David and God wanted to be clearly seen by Saul to be with David

choices

having taken a bit of a risk yesterday morning, I will wait until monday to see how that pans out. I got a text message from F last night asking how I feel now? I could interpret that question in a lot of different and equally appropriate ways. We are from very different cultures. I have asked her to tell me what she means by that and made a few suggestions on what she could mean.

I await to see what God will do. Perhaps he is giving me a choice and I do not want to do anything rash, make a choice now only to find out later that I could have had another choice. If I do, they both have merit, but I prefer one to the other, so I think wait and see how the matter will fall as Naimi advised Ruth is the order of the day.

As Jesus prayed

Last night as I read the bible, I noticed that it was AS JESUS WAS PRAYING that the crowd gathered and we have the story of how he taught them and the crowd was vast and the disciples asked him to send them away so they could get food and Jesus told them to feed them. He said you feed them and they could not and the only food in the crowd was a boys five loaves and two small fish. Jesus blessed it and fed the crowd and there were 12 baskets left ( some say one for each disciple, but what about Jesus?)

It was also as JESUS WAS PRAYING that the disciples came to him and asked him to teach them to pray as John taught his disciples. He then taught them what we erroniously call the lords prayer. It is in fact a prayer for us, not him for he had no sin. It seems to me that as he prayed things happened. Was he praying for the crowd that they would be well taught by him. Was he praying for the disciples that by seeing the miracle of the five loaves and fishes they would see him for who he is and thier faith would grow. Was he praying that they would learn to pray? Probably, but it seemed to me that as I look at my feeble prayer life scripture says I should pray and things will happen. I have some things I want to see happen, and I have just done something, the outcome of which I am praying about. So let me see what happens

a risk

I have written something that I will email tomorrow. A wise man told me to do something unusual. The contents of what I have written are unusual and I will send it tomorrow morning. It is risk by my standards. Let me see if and how the lord uses it.

Thoughts From a Treasured Wretch: The Rhythm is Changed

Amen
Thoughts From a Treasured Wretch: The Rhythm is Changed: "In Genesis 5 there is a rhythm. It sways back and forth through life and death. Look carefully: 'This is the book of the generations of Ad..."

Change of Ministry?

Yesterday, we had visitors from SGM. In the middle of what David had to say, he said that he and his wife had served in Spain for a number of years and that it would take wild horses to bring them back to England. They were then challenged about returning to England and changing their ministry to what they they do now. In my own situation I have thought and prayed about this. I still need a lot of wisdom and guidance and trust in the lords providence to bring this about, but I do want to change. I want to teach, I want to write and a I want a number of other things. I also think that like Ruth I am to wait and see how the matter will fall.

the crash and the heart problem

I got an email from my brother Jim thanking me for commending him on what he had to say after our uncles funeral. However, he also said that he had been on a treadmill in hospital and there was a heart fluctuation. They think there is a narrowing of an artery and further investigation is needed. It is likely that it can be widened by a balloon or stem. Worst case senario would be a heart by pass and he is on a coctail of five tablets to lower his blood pressure.

He was also in car crash and it is most likely that the car is a write off. I am just thankful that he was not seriously injured or killed. He has googled for the accident statistics for the road he was on and they are frightening.

We will see how things go after he has had a scan

Review of Chackos book

Chacko has asked me to write a review of his book. I feel so honored at just being asked to do such a thing. He has proved to be such a mighty blessing to me. It is called, "Beyond the Natural". He has emailed it to me and I have asked him to give me a week and I will do it.

The bank books and an answer to prayer

Today I went on the bank run, and I lost the bank books. I retraced my steps. I went to the post office where I had been paying car tax. I went to my bank were I had been paying my credit card. I went to the bank the office uses and I searched the car and they were not in any of these places. I prayed, "Heavenly father help me find them". I decided to have a second go. I had been told that bag with them in it had not been handed in. Perhaps that meant it was lying on the floor and had not been found. I went back to the post office and had a look all the way along the counter. It was not there. I decided to go to the shop to look on their floor and as I approached it, I saw it. There it was on the ground outside the door. I praised the lord for this answer to prayer. It was like the widow who cleaned the house searching for the missing coin in the parable. I was so overjoyed to see that bag. I hope I remember this as another answer to prayer.

Psalm 119

I spoke on Psalm 119 this morning. I was told it was refreshing. "How Shall a young man keep his way pure?" by meditating on the word of the lord.

I also noted the contrast of running and walking with Gods word between verses one and thirtytwo. ( I only covered the first thirtytwo verses.) the psalmist asks that the lord teach him his precepts. We need to be like that. We need to be teachable and we need to meditate on Gods word in all circumstances

Gods special AA provision for me today.

I really think God provided for me today. My car got stuck fast in a ditch. I called Green Flag and they would not pull it out because they did not consider it to be a breakdown and if I wanted them to come they would charge me a great deal of money. I asked Quinta Hall if they would pull it out with their tractor, but they could not as they are not insured for the public highway and my tank was on the ground. I listened carefully to what a member of the staff said about the situation and then I remembered that I upgraded my bank account recently and that automatically gave me AA membership. I called them and they did it. Praise the lord. I really believe he provided that for me.

The battle is won

It seems that she who caused me such a problem last year is almost certainly a scammer. That information helps me greatly. I can now get back on one of my regular email addresses knowing that the crisis is over. I am not complacent however. There will be future battles, but for the present, I am safe. I can only conclude that it is the lord who brought me through and if you dear christian brother of sister are reading this. I strongly urge you in all your trials to submit to the lord and let him carry you through. You may indeed have to do some wise and practical things. It is foolish to think God will do things for us that he expects us to do do for ourselves. I did the practical things that I thought would be good for me, but God has added to that the things I could not do for myself and I have made it. I am so joyful about that.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future". It sound brilliant, doesnt it. The truth is however that well meaning Christians frequently pay no attention to the context of this verse. This verse was for the people of Isreal who were taken captive to Babylon and for no one else. It is Jeremiahs letter in which he is telling them that there are false prophets saying that they will soon be delivered and Jeremiah is telling them the truth. They will remain in Babylon for 70 years and at the end of that time the lord would come and take them back and this verse was given to them so that they knew the lord had plans for the nation as indeed he did and at the end of the 70 years Daniel could see the exile coming to and end.

People treat this verse as if God wrote it to them personally. If I find a letter written to someone else and i see something in it that thrills me. I do not then assume the letter is written to me. It is a fact that it has been written to someone else, so why do we not read Gods word properly and apply it in the fashion that is intended?

The Crew

Tonight will be the last time for the present that I stand in at the Crew. Weather permitting we will be out in the wood and for the childern they will be in the wilderness. Last week they were spying out the land. I still would not do this weekly, but I do think that that it is good to see what goes on and to pray for the children that they will learn and come to knowledge of the saviour for themselves. I had a sunday school background which helped a lot when I finally became a christian. Most children today do not have that privilage and the Crew (Crusaders) is a way of filling that gap.

Straight after crew, I am off to the theatre for the first rehearsal of Improble fiction. I love the theatre. I wish I were picked for more performing, but I love working with them and I love them as people. Having recently joined the committee, I love that to. I put forward five suggestions for plays last weekend. Lets see if they go with any of them. there was only one suggestion from someone else that I cannot support them in and that is Calendar girls. I can just imagine what would happen to me, so if that is accepted I will declare myself unavailable. That said some of the other suggetions were brilliant. I fancy the Beggars opera or the tempest. I once saw it at the Royal Shakespear company with Patrick Stewart. It was brilliant.

pygmalion

I emailed a fifth suggestion to go with last nights suggestions for the theatre. I suggested pygmalion.

pitching to the theatre

Tonight we had a meeting in the theatre to put forward ideas for plays. A lot of ideas were put forward. One of them I suggested two years ago which is "The Steamie", I also pitched two Noel Coward one act plays, "Still Life" which is better known as Brief Encounter, " Ways and Means" and at the last minute I reminded them that by email I had mentioned "Blood Brothers". I really would love to direct at least one of them.

Heaven is richer by ten lions

I was looking at the book chacko left, "Heaven is Richer by Ten Lions". It is about Billy Jones. I knew Billy in the last ten year of his life. He was a very unusual person and when I was joining OM we were all told about him at the Training Conference. I said to two other men that I would love to meet a character like that. One said, "You probably will meet him because his wife works at the Quinta". Indeed he was right and I did meet Billy.

There is a chapter in the book about Billy meeting his wife. Billy and Pauline told me about this one day when I was visiting him. He told me that as soon as he saw Pauline, he knew that he wanted to marry her. Like Billy I have gone for a long time without marrying, but so far not as long as he did. However I do pray about it. He prayed for a year, I have prayed somewhat longer than that. I wonder when and how I will get an answer.

Billy said that he felt like ten lions, hence the title of the book.

life the universe and everything

The car failed its MOT, but only on the exhaust, so that is being fixed. Road tax next.

Today we had a very emotional testimony from IO and perhaps I need to take the basic framework of what he said and fill in my emotional bits.

If things to plan I will have a copy of my testimony returned to me and then I can look into having it published.

I still feel a need to marry. very much indeed and I pray about it a great deal. that said, though I am very aware of the lord and his providence in my life. He has given me things in a fashion that I could not have forseen such as my baptism, my mobile and my car. He has also given me experiences that only now I value.

Psalm 103

I spoke on Psalm 103 this morning. To set the tone I got kevin to project a video of the Andrae Crouch song "Bless the Lord, Oh my soul". I think this psalm holds together Gods goodness, but also his wrath. Indeed he is slow to anger, but that does not mean that he is never angry.

Getting Published

A couple of years ago, I wrote my testimony. Unfortunately I have lost the original file. I say unfortunately because a certain OMer asked me if I would be interested in having it published. I hope that I am able to get a copy so that I can have this done and not be like J R Hartley who was for a long time the character in the yellow pages commercial who went around looking for a copy of "Fly Fishing by J R Hartley".

I am in the local newspaper

A photo of me with a policeman and a girl from the church is in the local newspaper. It was taken when I was at the Victorian Tea Party which was fund raising for the youth club.

Getting Published

Chacko and Rhada Thomas are visiting this weekend. They will be at my church tomorrow. Chacko has asked me if I would be interested in publishing my booklet about my testimony. Indeed I would, but as I have lost the original file I need to recover it. I hope that I am able to get a copy of it to get things going.

The Christian Institute

I was at a Christian Institute meeting last night. It was good to know what is going on. I was already familiar with most of it, but what pleased me was that the meeting was quite well attended and there were people there that I know from other churches. It was also good to see Paul a former collegue.

I came across the Christian Institute last year and I got involved. In view of one of the things that was said about them sending letters to supporters, I have decided to remain on the mailing list as some of the things they do are targeted by postcode and it is such an appoach that led me to see my MP at the end of last year.

I look back on my secondary school days and how right from the day I arrived at secondary school until the day I left, I did modern studies. At the time it was a new subject and I did it because I enjoyed it. It made me politically aware just as the church made me spiritually aware and I can now see that even at the age of 12 years old the lord was preparing me for things like being involved with the christian institute and indeed for all the things I do now and for all I know he could at this very moment be preparing more for me.

A certain video was shown and when they asked for a show of hands of people who had not seen it before, I was surprised at the number who had not seen it. Pehaps they were not on the mailing list but I had seen it because I follow the CI on facebook. The arrest of the street preacher in it had been well reported in the press.

Ah well another meeting tonight. This time at the village institute

Testimonies

I was listening to Andys testimony yesterday and I noticed that he was converted AFTER he decided to have nothing to do with with church. I was like that. I wanted to have nothing to do with church, but God did not let me go and I am so happy about that. If I had got my way, I would not be saved and I would not be where I am now.

With all my ups and downs, I do love the lord and have never regreted the day he dragged me into salvation

God answers prayer. Oh yes he does

This morning Andrew was talking about a psalm and he was a bit naughty as he actually spoke on the next psalm as well. There is a point where the second psalm says "You answer us". To recieve an answer, it follows one must have asked. I am asking, asking and asking. when will I be answered. I am sure God will answer

Gods Goodness to me

Things went my way at the weekend at the bank. In fact I would say they went better than alright. I am pleased. I see God in it guiding and protecting me. It is better than I hoped for. Now as for the other things I pray about, a strong temptation came my way and I put it off to think. In fact I put it off for two month and then came back to it it stronger. It concerned email that I knew I would get. As I read it coldly, I realised the person who sent it is lonely and very emotionally unstable. She has turned me into a fantasy character that I do not recognise. I decided that the best course of action was not to communicate with her again and delete her. She would have drawn me in sexually and my name would have been tarnished.

I see the lord and his protection in these things. I am just so grateful for the things he has given me in the past few months. The car the mobile, the protection of my person. God is good.

the way ahead and difficulties

I think I can see a way ahead now with my difficulties. I pray that Saturdays meeting goes well. If it does things should be plain sailing and I will be making some personal changes.

At the theatre, I am business manager for the next production and it is a bit of an uphill struggle. there are not enough people whom I know who can fill the posts that by law need to be filled. I have a three weeks to do it. I know I will get someone tonight, but I can see that I need to bring the issue up at the next committee meeting.

George

Uncle Johns funeral

On Tuesday, my brother and I were at our Uncle Johns funeral. It was such an honour to participate, to travel in the car with our cousins, to put our hands on the coffin with them and escort it into the cremetorium and to greet people as they left to go to the hotel. I felt closer to my cousins than I have ever done before.

I loved and admired Uncle John. He was a man whos company we all enjoyed. He was a dandy and a very talented man. A true inspiration to the rest of us.

There were people at the funeral from the speakers club and those who knew him when he was starting out as an actor. It was lovely to see such a large number of people.

Uncle John has died

Today, my Uncle John died. He was a semi professional actor and salesman. I think the performing side of things came down from his side of the family to me and others. I expect this means that I will be making a trip to Rutherglen soon.

I am glad that I had a discussion with him a few years ago that was very revealing indeed. It opened the family secrets. He will be a loss to us all.

Psalm 51

I will be speaking on psalm 51 on Friday. David had sinned and when confronted by Nathan, he had a broken and contrite heart. He was desperate to be cleansed of sin. I sometimes know the feeling and when you know the lords forgiveness, it is glorious.

I hope that I never grow hard hearted and cherish sin.

Train service

Unfortunately the direct train service from Shropshire to London will terminate on Friday. I only had the opportunity to use it once. It was lovely.

The letter

I got the letter yesterday with the new details. As I am not a finance person, I do not fully grasp things. However, with some apprehension, this has to be good.

change

Apprehensive about changes and the consequenses they could have for me, however, so far so good. I got a very reasuring email today, so one problem is dealt with and now for the rest. God is good.

Answer to prayer

Today was lovely. I saw a clear answer to prayer. A passport was missing and I prayed that it would be found. I had good reason to think it may not. It is now with the the girl in question and I am just so thrilled to see Gods goodness to me, to her and to those of us who prayed.

yesterday was my anniversary

Yesterday was my 16th anniversary of joining this organisation. I remember with great fondness those who joined with me and have gone on to other things.

Busy week this week. Tonight I am at the crew and on thursday I am in charge of Stewarding at a film. I can see this is going to become a regular thing.

do it now

After last weekends visit to the bank at my behest, I need to get things sorted out.

I also have an idea on how to make some money and after a message I heard from Chris this morning about all the books he read as a young man there was one where the main thing he remembered about it was the message, "DO IT NOW", So I will be putting my idea into action one evening this week.

Victory from the lord

I was reading the old Testament last night when I came across a passage concerning the people of Isreal preparing for battle. They were told that if a man had built a house and had not dedicated it, then he need not go into battle. If he had a fiance whom he had not married, he need not go into battle and if he was fearful then he need not go and all this when they can see that the number of the enemy is greater. This is much like the incident with Gideon when he had to choose those who lapped water out of their hands rather than got down and drank from the river. It was so that the people of Isreal could see that the victory came from the lord and not from their own efforts.

ss

Today I submitted the measurements for the two rooms in the Sunday school to get a rateable value. I hope that this year we will see some action.

The first blog of the year

I is now January 2011. Christmas in Dunfermline was lovely. However when I return home, I have mixed feelings. It is nice to be in my own flat, doing my own thing and having a car again is great. However, I have no family here. That gives me a certain feeling of emptiness. However I do have friends here and that is good. I have life here that is community based that I did not have in Dunfermline.

There are things I would love to achieve this year, but will it happen? I have just about got the first day at work in and that has been nice and I am looking forward to the summer when my nieces plan to come and visit me. I love them very much. They have not been here since they were children.

There will be changes here on the the team. The big change will be in how we are renumerated.

I feel the need to get into gods word more. Some recent events have shown me why the apostle paul emphasised love so much. I could be the most talented person in the world but if I do not love people then I am useless and a liability.

Yesterday, I finaly did what I have thought about for many years. I bought a slow cooker so that I can have meals ready when I go home. I tried it out last night and it was lovely.