husbands love your wives as christ loves the church

Husbands Who Love Like Christ and the Wives Who Submit to Them Message by John Piper Scripture: Ephesians 5:21–33 and 1 Peter 3:1–7 Topic: Marriage Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church; however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Likewise you wives, be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior. Let not yours be the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of fine clothing, but let it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are now her children if you do right and let nothing terrify you. Likewise you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honor on the woman as the weaker sex, since you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered. Let's jump into this text at verse 31. It's a quote from Genesis 2:24, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one." In the next verse (verse 32) Paul looks back on this quote and says, "This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." The Mystery of Marriage Now why is the coming together of a man and woman to form one flesh in marriage a mystery? Paul's answer in verse 32 is this: the marriage union is a mystery because its deepest meaning has been partially concealed, but is now being openly revealed by the apostle, namely, that marriage is an image of Christ and the church. Verse 32: "I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." So marriage is like a metaphor or an image or a picture or parable that stands for something more than a man and a woman becoming one flesh. It stands for the relationship between Christ and the church. That's the deepest meaning of marriage. It's meant to be a living drama of how Christ and the church relate to each other. Notice how verses 28–30 describe the parallel between Christ and the church being one body and the husband and wife being one flesh. "Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it." In other words, the one-flesh union between man and wife means that in a sense they are now one body so that the care a husband has for his wife he has for himself. They are one. What he does to her he does to himself. Then he compares this to Christ's care for the church. Picking up near the end of verse 29, he says the husband nourishes and cherishes his own flesh, " . . . as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body." In other words, just as the husband is one flesh with his wife, so the church is one body with Christ. When the husband cherishes and nourishes his wife, he cherishes and nourishes himself; and when Christ cherishes and nourishes the church, he cherishes and nourishes himself. If you want to understand God's meaning for marriage, you have to grasp that we are dealing with a copy and an original, a metaphor and a reality, and parable and a truth. And the original, the reality, the truth is God's marriage to his people, or Christ's marriage to the church. While the copy, the metaphor, the parable is a husband's marriage to his wife. Geoffrey Bromiley says, "As God made man in His own image, so He made earthly marriage in the image of His own eternal marriage with His people" (God and Marriage, p. 43). The Roles of Husbands and Wives One of the things to learn from this mystery is the roles of husband and wife in marriage. One of Paul's points in this passage is that the roles of husband and wife in marriage are not arbitrarily assigned and they are not reversible without obscuring God's purpose for marriage. The roles of husband and wife are rooted in the distinctive roles of Christ and his church. God means (by marriage) to say something about his Son and his church by the way husbands and wives relate to each other. We see this in verses 23–25. Verse 24 speaks to the wife about her half of the metaphor and verses 23 and 25 speak about the husband's half of the metaphor. Wives, find your distinctive role as a wife in keying off the way the church relates to Christ. Verse 24: "As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands." Then to husbands: find your distinctive role as a husband in keying off the way Christ relates to the church. First verse 23: "The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior." Then verse 25: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." The Redeeming of Headship and Submission Think about this for a moment in relation to what we have seen so far in this series. I tried to show from Genesis 1–3 that the when sin entered the world, it ruined the harmony of marriage NOT because it brought headship and submission into existence, but because it twisted man's humble, loving headship into hostile domination in some men and lazy indifference in others. And it twisted woman's intelligent, willing submission into manipulative obsequiousness in some women and brazen insubordination in others. Sin didn't create headship and submission; it ruined them and distorted them and made them ugly and destructive. Now if this is true, then the redemption we anticipate with the coming of Christ is not the dismantling of the original, created order of loving headship and willing submission but a recovery of it from the ravages of sin. And that's just what we find in Ephesians 5:21–33. Wives, let your fallen submission be redeemed by modeling it after God's intention for the church! Husbands, let your fallen headship be redeemed by modeling it after God's intention for Christ! Therefore, headship is not a right to command and control. It's a responsibility to love like Christ: to lay down your life for your wife in servant leadership. And submission is not slavish or coerced or cowering. That's not the way Christ wants the church to respond to his leadership: he wants it to be free and willing and glad and refining and strengthening. In other words what this passage of Scripture does is two things: it guards against the abuses of headship by telling husbands to love like Jesus; and it guards against the debasing of submission by telling wives to respond the way the church does to Christ. Defining Headship and Submission Maybe what would be most helpful here would be to give a crisp definition of headship and submission as I understand them from this text, and then raise an objection or two and close with some practical implications. Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home. Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. I'll come back to some practical implications of those definitions in a moment. But first let me say a word about a couple common objections. What About Mutual Submission in Ephesians 5:21? The ideas of headship and submission are not popular today. The spirit of our society makes it very hard for people to even hear texts like this in a positive way. The most common objection to the picture I just painted of loving leadership and willing submission is that verse 21 teaches us to be mutually submissive to each other. "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ." So one writer says, "By definition, mutual submission rules out hierarchical differences" (Gilbert Bilezikian, Beyond Sex Roles, p. 154). In other words if mutual submission is a reality between husband and wife, then it's a contradiction to say the husband has a special responsibility to lead and the wife a special responsibility to support that leadership and help carry it through. What shall we say to this? I would say that it is simply not true. In fact the writer who said that mutual submission rules out all hierarchical relationships shows that it's not true a page later when he says, "The church thrives on mutual subjection. In a Spirit-led church, the elders submit to the congregation in being accountable for their watch-care, and the congregation submits to the elders in accepting their guidance" (p. 155, on p. 251 he even says, "the congregations submit to their leaders by obeying . . . "). In other words, when it comes to the church, he has no trouble seeing how mutual submission is possible between two groups, one of whom has the specially responsibility to guide and the other of whom has the special responsibility to accept guidance. And that's right. There is no contradiction between mutual submission and a relationship of leadership and response. Mutual submission doesn't mean that both partners must submit in exactly the same ways. Christ submitted himself to the church in one way, by a kind of servant-leadership that cost him his life. And the church submits herself to Christ in another way by honoring his leadership and following him on the Calvary road. So it is not true that mutual submission rules out the family pattern of Christ-like leadership and church-like submission. Mutual submission doesn't obliterate those roles; it transforms them. Does the Term "Head" Even Refer to Leadership? One other common objection to the pattern of leadership and submission is that the term "head" does not carry the meaning of leadership at all. Instead it means "source," somewhat like we use the word "fountainhead" or the "head of a river" (Bilezikian, pp. 157–162). So to call a husband the head of his wife wouldn't mean that he is to be a leader, but that he is in some sense her "source" or her "fountainhead." Now there are long studies to show that this is not a normal meaning for the word "head" in Paul's day. But you'll never read these articles because they are too technical. So let me try to show you something from these verses that everyone can see. The husband is pictured as the head of his wife as Christ is pictured as the head of the church, his body (see verses 29–30). Now if the head means "source," then what is the husband the source of? What does the body get from the head? It gets nourishment (that's mentioned in verse 29). And we can understand that because the mouth is in the head, and nourishment comes through the mouth to the body. But that's not all the body gets from the head. It gets guidance because the eyes are in the head. And it gets alertness and protection because the ears are in the head. In other words, if the husband as head is one flesh with his wife, his body, and if he is therefore her source of guidance and food and alertness, then the natural conclusion is that the head, the husband, has a primary responsibility for leadership and provision and protection. So even if you give "head" the meaning "source" the most natural interpretation of these verses is that husbands are called by God to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant leadership and protection and provision in the home. And wives are called to honor and affirm the husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. Practical Implications Now I said I would come back to some practical implications. 1. The Transformation of Leading The call in verse 25 for husbands to "love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her" revolutionizes the way he leads. This is where we ended last week in Luke 22:26 where Jesus says, "Let the leader become as one who serves." In other words, husbands, don't stop leading, but turn all your leading into serving. The responsibility of leadership is given not to puff yourself up, but to build your family up. 2. The Transformation of Submission Submission does not mean putting the husband in the place of Christ. Verse 21 says you submit out of reverence for Christ. Submission does not mean that the husband's word is absolute. Only Christ's word is absolute. No wife should follow a husband into sin. You can't do that in reverence to Christ. Submission does not mean surrendering thought. It does not mean no input on decisions or no influence on her husband. It does not come from ignorance or incompetence. It comes from what is fitting and appropriate (Colossians 3:18) in God's created order. Submission is an inclination of the will to say yes to the husband's leadership and a disposition of the spirit to support his initiatives. The reason I say it's a disposition and an inclination is because there will be times when the most submissive wife will hesitate at a husband's decision. It may look unwise to her. Suppose it's Noël and I. I am about to decide something foolish for the family. At that moment Noël could express her submission something like this: "Johnny, I know you've thought a lot about this, and I love it when you take the initiative to plan for us and take the responsibility like this, but I really don't have peace about this decision and I think we need to talk about it some more. Could we? Maybe tonight sometime?" The reason that is a kind of biblical submission is because Husbands, unlike Christ, are fallible and ought to admit it. Husbands ought to want their wives to be excited about the family decisions, because Christ wants us to be excited about following his decisions and not just follow begrudgingly. The way Noël expressed her misgivings communicated clearly that she endorses my leadership and affirms me in my role as head. When a man senses a primary God-given responsibility for the spiritual life of the family, gathering the family for devotions, taking them to church, calling for prayer at meals — when he senses a primary God-given responsibility for the discipline and education of the children, the stewardship of money, the provision of food, the safety of the home, the healing of discord, that special sense of responsibility is not authoritarian or autocratic or domineering or bossy or oppressive or abusive. It is simply servant-leadership. And I have never met a wife who is sorry she is married to a man like that. Because when God designs a thing (like marriage), he designs it for his glory and our good. John Piper (@JohnPiper) is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books, including Reading the Bible Supernaturally.

Doctor Who: First Appearance of the Daleks - The Daleks (1963)

bible verses on marriage

38 Bible Verses About Marriage Looking for wedding readings or guidance for your marriage? Read these 38 Bible verses about marriage and love. By The Knot Married couple in front of church Photo by Haley Sheffield Couples who wish to show their devotion to each other and to their faith often turn to Bible verses about marriage when planning their nuptials. These scriptures on love from the Holy Book serve as spiritual and sentimental reminders of the love that you share, and provide you with a way to honor your religious beliefs while celebrating with friends and family. Marriage Bible verses give you the opportunity to share your thoughts and emotions, even when other sentiments may fall short. There are times when only a carefully chosen piece of scripture will suffice, and now you don't have to peruse the Bible on your own to find the right words. You can use these Bible verses about marriage and love to express the joy, gratitude and happiness that you feel toward your significant other while paying tribute to your faith. Here are some of the most treasured Bible verses about love, marriage and relationships that you can incorporate into your wedding day. Bible Verses About Marriage Bible Verses About Love Bible Verses About Relationships Bible Verses About Marriage The Bible contains numerous references to the sanctity and beauty of marriage. Its poetic love scriptures eloquently sum up what it means to be in love and to commit yourself to your significant other for the rest of your life. These Bible verses about marriage are the ideal addition to your wedding vows, however, for your reception toast or invitations, consider using Bible verses about love that everyone can relate to. After all, there’s a myriad of ways to love one another outside of marriage. Bible verses about marriage imagePhoto by Megan Rubey Genesis 1:27-28: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.' " Malachi 2:14-15: “But you say, 'Why does he not?' Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant." Isaiah 54:5: “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called." Song of Solomon 8:6-7: “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised." Ephesians 4:2-3: “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Colossians 3:14: “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Ecclesiastes 4:9: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?" Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her." Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Ecclesiastes 4:12: “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." Ephesians 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ..." Bible Verses About Love The Bible has a lot to say about the bonds of love and devotion. Bible verses about love speak of the perfect love that everyone should have toward their friends, family and mankind, not to mention the Lord. However, Bible verses about love also offer a revealing look at the strength and hope that romantic love can provide. It can be difficult to put your feelings for one another into words, but these Bible verses about love seem to capture its essence just right. Bible verses about love imagePhoto by Megan Rubey Romans 13:8: “Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law." 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:2: “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing." 1 Corinthians 16:14: “Do everything in love." Song of Solomon 8:7: “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned." Psalm 143:8: “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." Proverbs 3:3-4: “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man." 1 John 4:16: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." Ephesians 4:2: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." 1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." John 15:12: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you." 1 Corinthians 13:13: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." Song of Solomon 4:9: “You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace." Bible Verses About Relationships There is no relationship manual that tells you how to overcome obstacles and strengthen the ties you have with your loved ones. Thankfully, Bible verses about love serve as excellent guides; these scriptures offer jewels of wisdom that can help you navigate the ups and downs of love, as well as convey your heartfelt thoughts to your future spouse. There are a number of wedding scriptures and Bible verses about love that touch on the subject of relationships that you may want to mention on your wedding day. Bible Verses about RelationshipsPhoto by Megan Rubey Hebrews 10:24-25: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Proverbs 30:18-19: “There are three things that amaze me—no, four things that I don't understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman." 1 John 4:12: “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." Proverbs 31:10: "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Ruth 1:16-17: “Entreat me not to leave you, Or to turn back from following after you; For wherever you go, I will go; And wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, And your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, If anything but death parts you and me." Romans 12:10: “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." 1 Peter 4:8: “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins." Ephesians 5:21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." Genesis 2:18–25: “Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.' ... So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man." 1 Peter 3:7: “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered." In addition to these Bible verses about marriage, love and relationships, we have these Bible love quotes and an additional 150 quotes about love. Planning Wedding Ideas + Etiquette Ceremony Wedding

The story behind the hymn, What a Friend We Have in Jesus..flv

secret and shameful ways

2 Corinthians 4:2 ► Verse (Click for Chapter) New International Version Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God. New Living Translation We reject all shameful deeds and underhanded methods. We don't try to trick anyone or distort the word of God. We tell the truth before God, and all who are honest know this. English Standard Version But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. Berean Study Bible Instead, we have renounced secret and shameful ways. We do not practice deceit, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by open proclamation of the truth, we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. Berean Literal Bible But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness, nor falsifying the word of God, but by manifestation of the truth, commending ourselves to every man's conscience before God. New American Standard Bible but we have renounced the things hidden because of shame, not walking in craftiness or adulterating the word of God, but by the manifestation of truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. King James Bible But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. Holman Christian Standard Bible Instead, we have renounced shameful secret things, not walking in deceit or distorting God's message, but commending ourselves to every person's conscience in God's sight by an open display of the truth. International Standard Version Instead, we have renounced secret and shameful ways. We do not use trickery or pervert God's word. By clear statements of the truth we commend ourselves to everyone's conscience before God. NET Bible But we have rejected shameful hidden deeds, not behaving with deceptiveness or distorting the word of God, but by open proclamation of the truth we commend ourselves to everyone's conscience before God. New Heart English Bible But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by the manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. Aramaic Bible in Plain English But we reject shameful cover-ups and we do not walk in craftiness, neither do we deny the word of God, but we display our souls in the revelation of the truth to all the minds of the children of men before God. GOD'S WORD® Translation Instead, we have refused to use secret and shameful ways. We don't use tricks, and we don't distort God's word. As God watches, we clearly reveal the truth to everyone. This is our [letter of] recommendation. New American Standard 1977 but we have renounced the things hidden because of shame, not walking in craftiness or adulterating the word of God, but by the manifestation of truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. Jubilee Bible 2000 but remove from ourselves every hidden shameful thing, not walking in craftiness, nor adulterating the word of God, but in the manifestation of the truth, commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. King James 2000 Bible But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. American King James Version But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. American Standard Version but we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by the manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. Douay-Rheims Bible But we renounce the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor adulterating the word of God; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience, in the sight of God. Darby Bible Translation But we have rejected the hidden things of shame, not walking in deceit, nor falsifying the word of God, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every conscience of men before God. English Revised Version but we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by the manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. Webster's Bible Translation But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty; not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but, by manifestation of the truth, commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. Weymouth New Testament Nay, we have renounced the secrecy which marks a feeling of shame. We practice no cunning tricks, nor do we adulterate God's Message. But by a full clear statement of the truth we strive to commend ourselves in the presence of God to every human conscience. World English Bible But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by the manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. Young's Literal Translation but did renounce for ourselves the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness, nor deceitfully using the word of God, but by the manifestation of the truth recommending ourselves unto every conscience of men, before God; Commentary Matthew Henry Commentary 4:1-7 The best of men would faint, if they did not receive mercy from God. And that mercy which has helped us out, and helped us on, hitherto, we may rely upon to help us even to the end. The apostles had no base and wicked designs, covered with fair and specious pretences. They did not try to make their ministry serve a turn. Sincerity or uprightness will keep the favourable opinion of wise and good men. Christ by his gospel makes a glorious discovery to the minds of men. But the design of the devil is, to keep men in ignorance; and when he cannot keep the light of the gospel of Christ out of the world, he spares no pains to keep men from the gospel, or to set them against it. The rejection of the gospel is here traced to the wilful blindness and wickedness of the human heart. Self was not the matter or the end of the apostles' preaching; they preached Christ as Jesus, the Saviour and Deliverer, who saves to the uttermost all that come to God through him. Ministers are servants to the souls of men; they must avoid becoming servants to the humours or the lusts of men. It is pleasant to behold the sun in the firmament; but it is more pleasant and profitable for the gospel to shine in the heart. As light was the beginning of the first creation; so, in the new creation, the light of the Spirit is his first work upon the soul. The treasure of gospel light and grace is put into earthen vessels. The ministers of the gospel are subject to the same passions and weaknesses as other men. God could have sent angels to make known the glorious doctrine of the gospel, or could have sent the most admired sons of men to teach the nations, but he chose humbler, weaker vessels, that his power might be more glorified in upholding them, and in the blessed change wrought by their ministry. 2 Corinthians 4:2 Commentaries St

marriage to an unbeliever

Letter to a Friend Engaged to a Nonbeliever Sean Nolan / May 4, 2017 Letter to a Friend Engaged to a Nonbeliever Dear Kelly, I was surprised by the recent news of your engagement. While I wish I could celebrate with you without reservation, I admit I have some. My greatest concern is that your fianceé does not know or love Christ. Because I love you and care about your future, I feel compelled to speak now rather than to hold my peace, knowing full well how you might receive my “peace.” I expect that, if you’re honest, you may have your own reservations about the upcoming ceremony. I hope you will heed those reservations and reconsider. As I have watched people walk down this road, I have noticed several common ways people justify marrying a nonbeliever. I want to address them in hope that you might experience grace to trust God and his word regarding marriage. “Others Are Doing It.” You know my story. My wife began dating me as an unbeliever. But as much as I love her and our marriage, it was wrong for her to do so. While God was gracious to us, and brought me to a saving knowledge of Christ prior to our wedding date, let me be clear: to marry an unbeliever is to sin against God (1 Corinthians 7:39). Furthermore, the difficult path to my own conversion and then to our wedding ceremony is not one I would wish upon others. I fear you’ve latched onto God’s grace in my marriage (and others like mine) as a sort of promise for your own. God has made no such promise. While God was merciful to bring me to himself despite my wife’s disobedience, we are the exception and not the rule — certainly not the model. I know far more stories that did not play out like ours. The Bible gives us more stories like that (Exodus 34:16; Ezra 9). Solomon says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20). Don’t let the mistakes of others serve as a justification for repeating them. “He’s a Good Guy.” While I do think your fiancé is a great guy by earthly standards, it’s his standing before God that matters most for marriage. You mentioned how important it was to you that he respected your boundaries, particularly after your last boyfriend pushed the boundaries, even while claiming to be Christian. I agree that he certainly seems to outshine your last suitor, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of lateral comparison. We must be careful about making choices today based solely on setting them next to bad choices in the past. Look for a man striving to imitate Jesus (1 Corinthians 11:1). Why did you put your faith in Jesus, and choose to follow him? Are you absolutely sure you won’t regret committing yourself until death to someone who might never help you see or love Jesus more? If he does not share your captivation with Christ, you and he will always stand on unlevel and unsteady ground as you carry out your vows in marriage. “Give Him a Chance.” You’ve mentioned that your boyfriend is “warming up” to the idea of spiritual things. You’ve even thought at times he might be on the verge of conversion. Beware of your heart, which is prone to lie to you (Jeremiah 17:9), and of the butterflies in your stomach that often flutter louder than the Spirit within us. Until you are absolutely sure that he has also been born again by the same Spirit alive in you (John 3:5), heed the warning and conviction the Spirit brings (John 16:8). Don’t be fooled into thinking he is simply “spiritual, but not religious.” There is no such thing as spiritual neutrality. We are always either with Jesus or against him (Matthew 12:30). Despite his warmth toward you, any attempt to have God on his own terms is an attempt to reject the true God over your life and heart. If he has no interest in the things of Christ now, what makes you think things will change after the wedding? “I’ll Die Alone.” I know it can be hard to see other couples getting married, holding hands, and having kids while you remain single. Don’t let this serve as a reason to try and seize marriage at the first opportunity. I wish you could see a glimpse of a future in which you remained faithful to your vows to a man who remained faithless toward your Savior. Worse than attending church alone your entire life, while your husband remained at home, is the haunting thought that the man you gave yourself to might spend eternity separated from you and God. Worse yet is the thought that he might lead you or your children down the same path (Matthew 7:13). It really is possible to be more isolated and alone within a marriage than without. Marriage is no savior. It will not ultimately save anyone from sin or loneliness or unhappiness. It cannot bear the weight of those needs and longings. While the single life is not without trials, remember you are not alone. So long as you cling to Jesus, he will be with you (Matthew 28:20). He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He’s also given you community in the church. Even if your hope for a husband is never fulfilled in this life, you are promised a seat at the great wedding supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:7), and he will far surpass everything you might have experienced with an earthly husband. “I Already Said ‘Yes.’” I know that backing out of your engagement at this point may cost you, financially and otherwise. I know it might feel embarrassing. But it would be far better in the long run to lose some money and gain a few months of heartache than to commit the rest of your life to a marriage God does not want for you. Until you say, “I do,” it is not too late to wait. God may even redeem the situation in a surprising way for his glory if it is handled well. Would it not speak volumes about your faith if you told him you were deciding to entrust your future to God? If you were to say, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21)? Tell him you will settle for nothing less than being married “in the Lord.” Confess your disobedience to God and the sin of misleading him. Your repentance and faith could, by God’s mysterious grace, be the vehicle God uses to bring him to himself. Even then, you must make clear to him that a future with you is not promised. Should he come to saving faith, it must be to have God, not to have a wife. Otherwise, he risks making an idol out of you and using Jesus as a means to something else. If you truly love him, your concern for his soul should outweigh your hopes for marriage. I trust that, if you are willing to listen, the Holy Spirit will lead you into the truth that gaining a husband while forsaking your soul is a trade you do not want to make (Mark 8:36). I also pray that you would eventually see any wounds I have caused you as the faithful wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6), and not as those of an enemy. As you seek God’s will, hide yourself in him and his will, and wait with patience for the day he will wipe away every tear. With love and grace, Your Pastor

Bryn Haworth - We're All One [1996]